printy printy printy part two two two

Here's my little printy-poo, HP F4280. HP and Canon seem to be the best reviewed printers, and this one had good reviews from users on circuit city and amazon. I like consumer reviews better than professional reviews, for electronics, because I want to know how it works after a couple weeks, what are the common annoyances, what people think of the ink cartridges etc. There were cheaper printers (this one is 89) but I'll pay more if the bulk of people seem happy with something. Loves the internet for this sort of thing. Gosh, what did we do before?! I can barely remember Life Before the Nets.

printy printy printy

The reason I increased my work by one shift was cause I needed a few purchase-ahjs... and now the spending begins. I stocked up on winter shirts and work clothes/shoes a couple weeks ago. I still have to make the winter coat trek, but first I need a printer. My old printer doesn't work right anymore and I need it to print CVs for job applications, and query letters etc. for my book.

I'm excited that all the cheap printers these days include scanners. Sharing photos is so much easier with the nets, but my old pics are still sitting around in boxes, being looked at by no one but the dust mites. (And they don't really care.)

...Back to my online shopping...

no sleepies no cryyyyy

I'm working at 8 AM today... and I was unnnable to sleep. I tried and tried as of 2:30 AM onward, but there just wasn't a sleepy bone in my body. Of course, now it's time to get up and get ready and I can feel the droopy sleepiness coming on! But... too late body. You're stuck til 4 or 5 PM.

Oh well. Time to get ready for work.

Getting Ready for the Big Event

Now that I've committed to Nanowrimo, I have to make sure my blogs are filled with enough material to last through November... I guess I'm overdue for a day of sitting and reading the news, cause that's often when things occur to me.

Nanoooo wrimoooo!

I'm a gross old coughee

So I'm heading into week 4 of my bronchitis cough. It's not bacterial cause I'm on antibiotics and nothing has changed (so now I'm stuck finishing a course of antibiotics for nothing. Doh!) There's nothing I can do but wait it out.

I'm sure, now, that it came from the evening I spent at a friend's home--she and her boyfriend chain smoke. I've been around smoking friends before and nothing happened, but you can get a bronchitis from having your lungs irritated. And I remember the cough starting then, I just didn't make the association until enough people asked me if I smoke!

Meep! Bummer. Even though I'm not contagious (I never even had a fever or anything) it's pretty gross for customers when you're trying to serve them and you're hacking up a lung. I cough into my arm, though, which may alleviate some of their worry when I'm handling their money at Cash!

I'm seeing my GP in November, so if it's not gone by then... maybe she can give me an inhaler or something, to get the meds down into the lungs. But really... it's one of those You Can Do Nuthing scenarios. Drink fluids. I bought some Benalyn.

I used to houseclean for a couple who had probably been smoking since WWII. Her voice was all gravelly, and he would sit there in kitchen with the most disgusting cough. That's what I sound like. A 70 year old chain smoker.

To Nano or Not to Nano?

Everytime National Novel Writing Month grows closer I'm tempted to do it a second time. The first time gave me a decent rough draft of something I'd like to rewrite sometime, but that's the problem--you end up with a rough draft of something that needs a bleeding lot of work. And it can seem like as much work to rewrite something as to write it properly from scratch, the first time.

Still... so tempting. So fun! And it's the first time since returning to school that I could do it!

Maybe I could write the back story for my next novel. There's a lot of stuff that happens in the past, which is uncovered by my heroes. It might be fun to write that out as a *book* -- not to publish, but to make the back story real to me. And it would be fun. Fun! Fun!

It's probably because I'm tired of editing my last story that I'm excited by the idea of doing some actual writing. No research, just writing. Well, I have 9 days to decide. And I am finished the editing--just finished in fact. It currently stands at 59 715 words. BUT I still have to rewrite one particular scene which has been bugging and bugging and bugging me. Tweaking hasn't fixed it... it needs surgery.

And... I'd have an excuse to get myself a new Nanowrimo t-shirt (because... of course I would finish on time!) My last one is SO cute, but it's wearing out.

Brother Pablo is probably doing it--he also did Nan. the same month as me last time. I'd better go see what the t-shirts look like this year before I decide...

Apparently in April they also hold Script Frenzy -- 100 pages. Now that sounds coolio.

My cute t-shirt from 2002.

This year's. Eeps! NOT inspiring.

They used to have posters like this. Now this would be a nice t-shirt.

Of course, one could always get a tatoo. But I'm saving that for actual publication.

Here's another cute poster:

Maybe I can just find a t-shirt of Snoopy writing "It was a dark and stormy night."

Or better yet, a t-shirt with my Miss Mabel logo on it. She doesn't give any credits for it, so I might be able to.

As you can see... it really is all about getting the t-shirt.

A little faux leopard never hurt nobody.

I had to buy some clothes yesterday (work shirts, winter warmies) so I stopped by the Cheap Accessories store and restocked my Big Earring collection. Luckily my taste has always been cheap, so they cost between $1.00-2.50 each. And big earrings are in fashion now, so they're easy to find. I know exactly what I like, so it doesn't take me long to choose. I just avoided anything too heavy since my ears aren't adapted as they once were--but cheap earrings usually are light.

Gold dangly, silver dangly, and big ass hoops.

Brass dangly, and leopard print.

And that's my life, yo.

Not much to report. I finally went to the dentist this weekend (my weekend=Mon, Tue, Wed) and got my usual praise from the dental hygienist. I try not to care what others think of me, but I live for my dental hygienist's praise! And then I get not only the toothbrush, but mini toothpaste and floss!

Since I was there I dropped into the clinic--finished a book, and got 1/4 into Siddartha while I waited. Doc gave me a mild antibiotic in case my cough is bacterial, though she thinks it's viral. Haven't decided whether to use it or not. Everyone tells me to give up smoking.

Today I did a training session for some new staff members, so I got to put on my Teaching Hat.

I'm getting back into crash-on-couch-tv mode after work. Not too alarming, I have lots of good tv to catch up on, like the last seasons of Buffy.

And that's my life!

The Real Me Part 2

I've said before that my 30s have, so far, been about re-trying things I'd given up on.

But in the past year I've found another theme emerging... I'm not sure what to call it yet. So let me go historically.

When I was little I was bossy. My parents say when they took me to the park, I'd have all the kids organized and following me around. I also made friends easily. I could be at a pool I'd never been to, and I'd make a friend while I was there. So, like, there are some qualities we're probably born with right? And they're easiest to see in childhood.

But then, you know, Life Happens. I had a couple meh experiences in late high school that made me reluctant to be leadershippy and I started taking a backseat in university and at work. I owe it to my current work place that I rediscovered my inner leader. I wasn't trying to take charge of things, but what I've learned since being a manager is that other people can see qualities in you that you don't know you have (wow, that is so Hanuman!)--in a good work place, anyway. I just kept getting promoted.

Actually, I should thank my church years too. They always encouraged you to volunteer for stuff, so by the time I stopped attending I had held almost every single volunteer position (from my humble beginning handing out hymnals with Fernando, to being on the church board.) I liked being on the church board so much it was the only thing that kept me going to church in the end. That all came before this job (a little overlap) so I guess it was Church First, Job Second.

I can safely say I've recovered that quality.

The friend making thing took a hit too in high school. (Curse you teen years!) A pretty big hit. And while I recovered from the bulk of it after one long, painful summer, the Mistrust still stuck with me. I kept my old friends, I made new friends, I made new friends in college and university and at my job, so that wasn't the problem. But the girls who hurt me in high school basically talked about how much they hated me behind my back (one of the problems they had was... bossiness! Doh!), but put on a friendly face, and landed it all on me after the last exam before summer. I had only the slightest inkling that something was wrong, but I did not foresee having an entire group of friends dump me in one fell swoop. (Thank God one of my friends was out with mono!)

So to this day I cannot stand the feeling that someone is lying to me or pretending to like me more than they do. I mean, if we have to work together or something, of course I expect polite tolerance. But anytime I catch the slightest gossip that someone is mouthing off in a fit about me, but telling me "Oh we're good, we're good" ... woah la. If you don't like, that's fine--but make it clear puppy.

In case you haven't noticed, I can't honestly say I've recovered from that one. Most of the time if I feel distrust for a friend creeping in, I ruthlessly beat it back. I work very hard to combat the instinct because it's not fair to my friends, but at the same time I wish the instinct wasn't there. "I want my innocence back! Waaaah!"

On a much lesser note, the other thing about me which has taken a few kicks to the rear is my sense of humour. That's the fault of my job, and of holding leadership positions. You can't expect 60 employees to get your sense of humour. ;-) Hmm. Not just my sense of humour, but my candidness. I'm a very honest person, and one of my first managers warned me about it. She said she liked it because it made her trust me, but warned me it could hurt me.

I don't begrudge these experiences really, because I did learn good things from them. It's just hard to draw the line between moderating your behaviour in certain circumstances, and moderating your personality. So I guess the second thing emerging in my 30s is I'm trying to figure out where I want that line to be. I'm questioning whether I've sometimes crossed too far into changing my personality.

When I was about 13 my best friend's mother told me I should make more spelling mistakes in my letters to my friend (I'd moved away) because they intimidated my friend. I was floored. How do I make spelling mistakes? And my mom once told me (long long time ago) that I intimidated my brother when I would get into something new and I'd research it to death. (I've never told him that story--it was well intentioned of course, but I'm sure his response to this posting is going to be: What the! Damn!) And a couple years ago I was advised by a good friend to back off in work meetings because I was dominating them.

Learning to moderate my bossiness was a good lesson which I've mostly learned. But I can't moderate it so much that I don't step up and be my best self. I also can't moderate it so much that I'm always worrying about other people's feelings, or worried that other people won't assert themselves because I'm taking up too much space. As a woman I went to school with used to say: "Really? I mean... really?"

If I back down will these people really step up to the plate and start contributing? I'm willing to take myself back a fraction so that the ones who will step up can step up. But I will not back down for those who can't put enough energy into asserting themselves. I take up a lot of room in this world, true. (Ahhh that must be my Inner Earring showing through.) I'm slowly getting to the "I'm done apologizing" stage. I had one recent experience where I think I sort of offended or hurt the feelings of someone, in a work setting, and it was over something so silly (and I didn't do anything wrong, but the person had such a Look on their face)... oh man... I just couldn't. I made a joke about it, and if I can avoid doing it again I will--I will do that out of respect. But I did not bring it up again or apologize. It was way too ridiculous. That's new for me.

I'm really understanding what many women in their 40s and 50s go through. This is why people over 60 are constantly pissing off their families, and they know it, and they don't give a shit. They're givng their 5 year old selves free reign again. Unfortunately some 5 year olds are little beasts, but hey--I'm getting it now. I'm feeling a bit like P!nk's latest song: "So what! I'm still a rock star! I'm having more fun! Nya na na na na!"

I should probably give some *respect* to my family and my closest friends after all this. My family and I get along like tomatoes and olive oil (healthier together than apart). My mom, dad, step-mother and brother are the one core group I know will always LIKE me (which is different than loving me) and let me be myself, even when I'm obnoxious. I've never doubted them for a nanosecond, and I LIKE them too! And of course, that goes double for the one family member who likes me, but is also the most honest with me, Fernando. And of course that goes triple for Ernie (RIP), Nombly, Sherry and Haley who will always like me as long as I keep the food train running.

As for friends, I guess there are three with whom I feel absolutely comfortable. (You already know that the list of people I adore and love to spend time with is longer, but these are the 3 people who are the people My Doubts have trouble working against.) High School BF and I have had some ups and downs (it's been 20 years after all) but the girl is freakishly hard to offend, gets my jokes, doesn't read into shit, and I feel confident that she acts like herself around me too. I know who she is, and that's the first step in having a really trusting relationship I think. Plus we were always the loudest on the bus, and the first to get on the floor at the school dances.

Mae has been irked by me at times, but she's just Honest about it. The first time she showed me around a house she was thinking of buying, she pointed out all the aesthetic things she loved about it, and then said: "I'm afraid you're judging me for my loves-of-the-aesthetics!" Just like that. She just said it. That's what she does, and that's why I trust her. Plus she's a know-it-all like me, and we can mostly only be know-it-alls around each other.

And then there's Gilby, who likes me because of the things others call faults. Gilby is, in some ways, me without the hangups. He would stop being friends with me if I stopped being myself. When he met me he had an Ayn Rand moment (in Ayn Rand novels, likeminded people always Recognize Each Other upon first meeting.) And he is totally forthcoming with his love. We iz all about the love, like a hippie love in.

"I must learn to love the fool in me--the one who feels too much, talks too much, takes too many chances, wins sometimes and loses often, lacks self-control, loves and hates, hurts and gets hurt, promises and breaks promises, laughs and cries. It alone protects me against that utterly self-controlled, masterful tyrant whom I also harbor and who would rob me of human aliveness, humility, and dignity but for my fool." Theodore Rubin

Well, that was a bit of an inner child rant. I feel better now. ;-)

The Real Me Part 1

Now that I don't wear glasses anymore, I'm missing jewelery. Big earrings plus loud glasses starts to look like Crazy Cat Lady beyond a certain age. I don't mind becoming Crazy Cat Lady when I'm in my 70s or something, but in my 30s... I'm too young.

But without glasses, I can wear big earrings again, plus they're in fashion. I only kept a small handful, so I'll have to restock. (Luckily my taste runs to Cheap.)

Today I wore the only extravagant pair I still own to work--it looks disco-ball-ish. None of the new staff know me as The Crazy Earring Chick (as I was always known in the past) so you can understand how pleased I was when one of the cashiers complimented me on them and said: They're very you.

Wow. So in all these years of boring dress code, my Crazy Earring personality has still managed to shine through. As my old GM used to say: Amaaazing!

I had another great Personal Moment today. Not long ago I sent someone (who I thought *got* my sense of humour) a sassy work-related email, which I thought was clearly meant to be funny. Let's just say it did not Go Over. I was genuinely saddened, cause there are only a handful of people who understand my humour, which means I can only unleash it on rare occasions (and at home, thank God.) But I am so damned funny! And the world just doesn't know... sigh. Well that's what writing is for.

Anyway, I wrote a couple email replies to someone else who is on my Gets the Jokes list (and he's the only person I know who deals in constant double entendres, which I love). And because of Recent Painful Experience (RPE?) I was a little bit unsure after. Then at closing time I got a call from this person, who was laughing his ass off because he had just read the emails. He loved them. OH MY GOD. This now means so much to me, that I would take a bullet for this guy. I already loved this guy, but now I, like UBER love him. I'd be a baby surrogate for him. I'd pick up a manager-on-duty shift for him! (Okay, maybe not that far...)

It's funny how we can say things to people and have no real idea of the effect. Even though I profusely thanked him, he can't possibly know what this meant to me.

Which brings me to another topic... but I guess I'll start a separate post for it.

Miss Mabel's Chrismas: episode 1

Everyone's so happy about Fall being here, but I'm not enjoying it. I don't want shorter days. I don't care about the Crisp Air and Crispy Leaves. I usually at least enjoy that it's the one season you can wear almost 100% of your wardrobe, but when you're working in dress code this means nothing. "Will I wear my black slacks or my black slacks? Woo!" This Fall thing is overrated.

But the colder air, and the arrival of Christmas product at work, is putting me in the right mood for Christmas (oddly enough.) I'll be taking on extra responsibilities at work, to help out cause we're short a manager.

On one hand, I'm feeling pretty good because I won't have any papers due! Yippy! Being a manager is less stressful.

On the other hand, I can't work in my pajamas. Boo!

Number of days off won't be much different, because I always did a mix of paper writing, grading and work shifts the last 5 years; the difference is when I go home I GO HOME. No work to do at home. Just decorate the tree and bake pumpkin pie. Yay!

Tune in later this week for the exciting next episode: Mabel is cash trained on the new system. As Nombly would say: Meh meh meh!

The History of Me: in lists

Alright... this idea stolen from some author's web site.

LIKED AS A CHILD, STILL LIKE AS AN ADULT
- dancing & singing
- reading
- humour
- barbies
- cats
- drawing
- stuffed animals
- watching Solid Gold (I would
if it was on!)
- writing stories
- Meatloaf, Abba and ELO
- boys (as friends)
- girl friends
- star wars
- wonder woman
- playing at being a teacher


LIKED AS A CHILD, DON'T LIKE AS AN ADULT
- candy (life savers, fake
cigarettes)
- pretending to smoke
- Love Boat & Fantasy Island
- meat & dairy (well, don’t like
morally)
- being a star (it’s not a goal,
anyway)


DIDN'T LIKE AS A CHILD, LIKE AS AN ADULT
- boys (romantically)
- reading mysteries, sci fi,
fantasy, romance, or
anything trashy (kids
version)
- London (didn’t dislike,
but didn’t lurv as I do
now)
- Tomato sandwiches
- Math
- Bananas
- Artichokes, avocadoes &
other slimey veggies
- Country music

DIDN'T LIKE AS A CHILD, STILL DON'T LIKE AS AN ADULT
- being mean to people
- being bullied
- horror movies
- lying (I was bad at it)
- pretending to like things I
didn’t like so people
would like me
- the cold
- sports
- cleaning my room
- games of any kind
- pineapple

A kitty-cuddle is a pretty nice way to start the day.

Wintering Up

I think I also lost two hats and my favourite super-nuclear mittens last winter. I almost never lose such items, so clearly it was a rough last year of school! ...Better add those to the list.

Luckily I'm ok for boots. I have one ugly pair which is high, warm, grippy, weatherproof (and was cheap.) And another lower pair which needs re-sealing, but is otherwise in good condition.

...Could use rainboots though. I've been discovering a lack in my footwear when it's too wet for shoes, but too warm for winter boots!

Oh Canada... we don't have giant, gross, flying bugs like hot countries do, but we Pay for that honour.

coatless moi

I've always loved being tall, but it sucks when it comes to finding a winter coat. My arms are too long for me to shop in the regular women's department--everything is too short. And you can't have too short winter arms--the cold will get in!! Length is all-important.

Which means I can't wear a Cute Winter Coat.

Well okay, I could order something from the Tall Girl store (though I'm pretty out for clothes shopping on the net) but there's another reason I can't wear a Cute Winter Coat, which is: Once you go hood, you can't go back. I tried last winter, when I bought a new coat sans hood. (It wasn't even cute. It was just the least worst of the men's coats at Zellers.) I walked into work, and Billiam had his big North Face coat with the faux fur trimmed hood, and he said: "But your last coat had a hood! How could you ever go back!" I shook my head: "I know, I know. This coat is shit."

It's not only the hoodlessness that makes it shit. It's just plain coooooold. The torso's ok, but the arms are COLD. Which makes NO sense. If you're gonna skimp, skimp on the torso where all my organs are! I don't know what I'm going to do with it. Make it into curtains or something.

Now you see this Tall Girl coat. Cute, but warm? HA! Please. It wouldn't take me beyond -10.


So I'm checking out North Face. Forget cute. But I wonder if I could at least find funky? Maybe geeky? I already have a nice tuque that says: Don't make me think, it hurts my head.


Maybe something like this. You see, if I get a coat in pea green, then it has some geeksappeal. Geeks in cool geek movies movies always wear army jackets or parkas. And then there's the retro 80s appeal, that Adam Baldwin's been rocking for (apparently) his whole career.


But such parkas are in the $300 range. Ouch! I'll have to head down to a store and check this stuff out in person.

Here are the girly coats from North Face, which won't have long enough sleeves.

Glomby

Yesterday I only ate homemade baking powder biscuits and carob cookies, with unsugared herbal tea, all day. It sounds like some weird fad diet.

I had made the biscuits and cookies the night before. When I woke up... well what could be more wonderful for breakfast than bp biscuits? If I were a drug addict I'd mainline them.

But then it came time to grab a lunch to bring to work with me, and I hadn't made anything else--and I'm avoiding spending money eating out, since I'm on my new budget. So I bagged more biscuits and cookies.

The managers were all at a meeting and I was working a mid shift to help out the senior who opened the store, and the visiting manager who was closing. So I was Mabel Manager for a day--wow it's been awhile. Getting pages all the time, running around... fun for a day, but.... When I got home I didn't feel like cooking. Just flopped down in front of my compy... with more biscuits and cookies!

Very interesting. I'd even used white flour cause I don't have a lot of whole wheat left, so I'm sure my intestines--which are used to a steady influx of roughage--were in a state of confusion. "What is this pasty glue glombing its way towards us? Ew! I demand a carrot!"

...I'd better work myself up to making a bean salad this afternoon.

Musings on Death and Muted Metal

A few years ago two of my friends' fathers had strokes. (Stroke or heart attack in one case? I don't remember the details.) And now I know three women my age who have a parent undergoing treatment for cancer.

Well... you get to a point in your life where it seems like everyone is marrying or shacking up. Then the babies start. Then the divorces begin. And then the parents get cancer? This seems to be the next Life Phase.

I also just read that girl babies who are big are more likely to get breast cancer. Well, looks like I'm doomed because I was a big sucker. And both my grandmothers had/have cancer, though apparently hereditary cancer is relatively rare. It's being born a big baby that'll get ya in the end!

In other and more trivial news, the upstairs neighbour is playing heavy metal, which is annoying. I like heavy metal, but it has to be listened to loud--not through the ceiling, from someone else's stereo. Oh well, I'll sit here reading the news and listening to muted metal.