First Aid Mabel

I did a two-day First Aid course recently, for my work. I'm really glad because for years I've worried about something happening at work, or in my life, and my inability to cope with it. But I also had, like, First Aid Performance Anxiety. That taking First Aid class would somehow be like gym class and I'd be bad at it!

But all went well. It was very interesting, and though I won't remember everything if ever in a Panic, I at least feel a bit more confident. I have actual Heimlich and CPR technique, rather than guesswork. I even know how to use these little portable defibrillators which some places own. The machine speaks instructions to you. Very cool.

As usual, I got past my Perf Anx by usually volunteering for things first. But we were usually doing stuff as more than one person at a time, so it's not like all eyes were on us. I had to...

- Demonstrate that I knew how to approach someone laying on the floor, to find out what state they're in. And then put them in the recovery position if they were unconscious still breathing. (That's the posish my vet put Nombly in after giving him The Fatal Dose! Only the cat version.) I practiced this at home with my stuffed dog. "PUPPY! [clap my hands loud] PUPPY CAN YOU HEAR ME? PUPPY!!"

- Demonstrate that I could two types of bandagings. I did cut across hand, and cut on arm.

- Demonstrate that I could do CPR.

- Demonstrate I could use the defib.

- Play a person with a crustacean allergy, and my group had to figure out what I had by asking me questions. Weren't they surprised when they asked "Do you have an epipen with you?" and I whipped one out of my pocket! (which the teacher had given me) Now my coworkers (I was in training with 2 of them) think I should carry an epipen at all times, just for drama.


Did you know...

- Anyone can buy an epipen? You get it at the pharmacist's counter. This might be handy for any time I need a sudden shot of adrenaline.

- When you give CPR you're supposed to push the chest down at a rate of 100 pushes in 1 minute, which is about the same beat as "Staying Alive" or "Another One Bites the Dust."

I couldn't sing the lyrics to myself while counting out the 30 pushes, so I discovered the easiest thing was to sing the "ah ah ah ah staying alive staying alive" part over and over. "1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8" "9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16" "17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24".

* Part of the routine with CPR (and most emergencies) is that you assign jobs to people. You tell one to call 911, another to wait for the EMTs and show them where you are, and another to get the First Aid kit/mask/defib. But my coworkers and I added a fourth job...

Mabel (kneeling next to unconscious nonbreather):

- Joe! Go call 911!
- Mary! Go get the First Aid kit!
- Bob! Go wait for the ambulance!
- Sally! Start singing "Staying Alive"!

I told this to a staff member today, and she said she'd be so freaked out she would just start singing without question. And of course, it could just devolve into this. [Full version here.]

We also thought you could just put the songs on a playlist labeled "1" on your ipod, and ask someone to get it for you.

***

A research study at the University of Illinois suggests that people were more effective at Cardiopulmonary Resuscitation (CPR) if they were listening to the Bee Gees 'Staying Alive' while performing it. The reason is apparently that the song's tempo, 103 beats per minute, is close to the optimum number of 100 compressions per minute to help jump start a heart during a cardiac arrest.

I don't mind this song, but if you're working in the health service it might be an idea to get a bit of variety and check out other tracks with a similar tempo. DJ BPM Studio - which specialises in just this kind of thing - has a whole list of 100 BPM tracks including Madonna 'La Isla Bonita' and Bjork 'Isobel'; pretty close too is Lily Allen 'LDN' (100.01 BPM), Pink 'Stupid Girl' (100.02), ABBA 'Dancing Queen' (100.47), The Clash 'Hitsville UK' (100.69) and Blondie 'In the Flesh' (100.8). [source]