Haley did it again

Sister-in-law visiting yesterday. Said to Haley: "I thought you were supposed to be the mean one!"

Haley: "Meh heh heh hehhhhh."

They never see her favorite game, cause I don't let her get this way around guests. By the way, the number 1 rule of all cat training is: Human hands aren't toys.

If I stop playing too soon, she prowls and meowls and then nips at my arm or my toes, whichever is closer.

Ease out with an ear rub.

Alas poor anties... I squished them with Medieval Days and Ways

It's the time for all good vegans to run for the hills and ignore my blog... the killing time. It was 20 degrees today so the big fat black ants attempted another home invasion.

I kill them. If I have to renounce the vegan title, I will. I've had one invasion that made a little headway, and I've heard horror stories of people trying to get rid of ant invasions. They are smart and they are tough and they are organized. The spiders, on the other hand, hang out in every corner unmolested; and I have a shy silverfish living in my bathroom.

My dudes live on the outside of my building, and since the first ants are scouts, I've realized that ruthlessly killing the first ones takes care of the problem each year. Well... the needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few. I don't mean humans, I mean the many ants who would die if they found food, brought the message back to the nest, and then made a real invasion, and I had to move from book-to-ant combat, to chemical means.

I wish the cats would kill them, then I could keep my hands clean. But she does spot them, which helps. We just killed three in a row.

Medieval Days and Ways, and a kleenex, are on the floor ready in case she spots another--she's periodically checking. I'll have to check Fernando's room tomorrow, cause in the past, when it was our living room, it was the scene of frequent invasions--it's nearer the lawn.

You can poke your head out the window and see the ant highway traveling along the building at times. My goal each year is to send the message: Beyond that window, our brave scouts did not return. Move along, move along.

update: she just took a nap, then found me a 4th - those ants won't know what hit 'em

update: that's a lot of ants. These might not be scouts - scouts might have learned that I feed Minion in this room, and they've come to collect! I'd better move her back to the bathroom. (I feed her here so she won't eat Haley's food, the little thief. Minion sucks up her portion like a hoover, then races over to Haley's. Haley had taken to grabbing her soft food in one clump and running off with it!)

Maudite Petite Cat!!

I found a vomited up piece of plastic today. Small blue bubble wrap. I've looked around the house and I can't figure out where the hell she got it from!! &#*$*&#@&!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!*!*

Thank god she threw it up.

UPDATE: I think she tore it off something in the forbidden room, which she was in for 30 seconds yesterday. Which is reassuring, cause it just means being extra careful about not letting her in there. 

Celebrating Easter in Style

One of the bloggers I read (one of the Betties I've mentioned) - her mother does something for each holiday that I LOVE.

Context: Stuffed animals were my best friends in childhood, and I have around 50. Right now there's a stuffed minotaur on my printer.

Her mother has a wagon with a little gang of stuffies in it, and she gives them different outfits for each holiday. For Easter (or Ostaran) she knitted them hats and matching purses.

I imagine this gang goes out and gets into trouble each holiday, the designated stuffy driver pulling a wagon full of wasted animals home at 4 AM, someone holding the dolls curls back as she pukes.

As the election day approaches

The riding where I live has been a Liberal stronghold for a longo time-o. I didn't vote, on purpose, in the last election because I was annoyed to have one called so soon--two years after the previous one.

But at the one before that (2006) I actually did vote Conservative. I did so "in safety". I knew the Liberal, Francis Scarpaleggia would win, but I didn't want to give him my vote (b) on a national level, because of the poopiness that was the Liberal party at that time, and (b) on a local level, because he's one of the only anti-gay-marriage Liberals*. (I kind of like the Conserv gal who was running. This was before Harper's megalomania.) I kind of admire that he goes against the party line and votes by conscience, but his conscience and mine don't agree.

However I'm afraid I'll have to overlook his conscience this time because the Conservatives have put in a superstar this year--some jock rich dude ex Alouettes football CEO [I'm the last girl to be impressed by sports cred], who was appointed to the senate by Harper, and then stepped down to run for MP. When accused of only taking the senate seat to pad his CV, he said, maiz non maiz non...

"In simple terms, the money I was earning in my last profession to where I would be in this profession is what I would call a dramatic, catastrophic pay cut."

A senator salary is around $132 000.

I made a 1/4 of that at my last job. 

So.

Vote for a guy... who thinks that living at 4 X my last salary was OH MY GOD THE PAIN THE PAIN!!!

Keeping in mind that this is Quebec where the cost of living is very low. And while he and his wife may still be supporting their third child, their other two kids aren't dependents (I hope since one's a football player and the other is married to a football player.)

And I'm not supposed to see the Conservative party as the party for rich people? I mean, Scarpy might have lots of dough too, but his last job was as a business teacher at the English college with some of the most disadvantaged kids (Dawson.) Just sayin'.

Smith's made his presence known too. He had some kind of over-the-phone town hall. I don't know how popular it was cause I didn't participate, I had a friend over. I also got a "Are you planning to vote Conservative?" phone call this week.

So. A vote for a Scarpy, and then an email letting him know my feelings about gay marriage. That sounds about right.

Note: I'm listening to his interview now. Catastrophic. My GOD. That is so spoiled. Catastrophic is losing your house cause you can't pay your bills. What an asshat.
_______
* His views as expressed in Hansard are interesting, but I still disagree with him.

Minion the Menace

Months ago the vet gave me a dog chewie thing to see if Minion would like it. She didn't like it that much so I stuck it in the bread cupboard and rarely took it out. But one day she followed her nose, found it, and took it out. (It's a higher cupboard, like over the stove, only it's over a counter.) I put it back. When she was bored, she took it out again.

Today she took it out. Then it occurred to her... didn't she see some nice bread in that same cupboard? Why was she passing the bread up every time she went for the boring dog chew?

We've used this cupboard for years without even our most bread-loving cat (Sherry) finding it. And then today...

Fernando: Menowz! You left my bagels out and Minion's eaten them!
Me: I didn't leave them out! She must have climbed in the cupboard, the little minx!
Fernando: Oh my love!
Me: Hey I didn't do anything!
Fernando: I didn't accuse you, I just expressed dismay at my eaten bagels.

For some reason I didn't think she'd dare this a second time. I thought maybe she'd been especially tempted by the cinnamon raisin bagels. After all, the damn bread's been in there all this time. (Well not the same loaf.)

Then I was sitting here and I hear...

Squeka squeka squeka...

I knew it wasn't the lower cupboard squeaking. I tied them up ever since Minion's chewing-thing-stuck-in-intestines incident.

I looked at Haley, who could see into the kitchen. She was watching something with mild interest.

I went to the kitchen.

The bread cupboard door was mostly closed, but moving slightly.

Squeka squeka squeka...

I opened the cupboard and there was Minion the Menace, settling in comfortable, using her patented bag opening technique on the bread: multiple tooth punctures 1 inch X 2 inch zone.

I tossed her out and duct taped the door. Wrote "child safety locks" on the grocery list.

Me: Our genius child has been in the bread again.
Fernando: Are you feeding her enough?
Me: Menowz!
Fernando: It was a serious question! Maybe she's hungry!
Me: She ate your bagels thirty minutes ago!
Fernando: ...It was a snack.
Me: [to Haley] You couldn't warn me?
Haley: I'm a lot of things Mahmmy, but I'm no stool pidgeon.

(Did I mention she can open a brand new bag of chips in under a minute? If you're eating chips she won't try to steal one out of your hand, she'll try to make an opening at the bottom of the bag.)

This week in French - done reading!

Un petit pas pour l'homme by Stéphane Dompierre

My rating: 4 of 5 stars


Ceci était mon deuxième livre de Dompierre et il est maintenant un de mes auteurs préférés. Style High Fidelity en français, avec le magasin de disques et le mec qui veut pas se transformer enfin en adulte; mais c'est plus drôle, le héros est plus sympa, et ça contient une bonne scène de sexe. J'ai aussi adoré son livre Morlante, que j'ai l'intention de relire. Vraiment mon sens d'humour.

This was my second Dompierre book, and he's one of my faves now. Sort of the French "version" of High Fidelity--the record store, the guy reluctant to grow up--but it's funnier, the hero is more sympathetic, and there's a good sex scene. I also loved his book Morlante, which I plan to re-read. Really my sense of humor.

* Took me this long to read, though, cause I made myself look up EVERY word I had even the slightest doubt about. 99% of the time I could understand everything from context, but I still made myself look (or put a pencil note, to look later, which I did.) There was one paragraph where I had about 7 pencil notes, yet I understood the whole damn paragraph!

View all my reviews

Dear dear

Inspired by this site, the Betties wrote a bunch of Dear ___ letters recently. Here's a handful of them, but they were all funnee.

Dear trees,
Please stop spooging on me. It’s gross.
Sincerely,
The Car

Dear Mom,
I gave him the milk for free and he bought me anyway. You were totally wrong.
Love,
The Cow

Dear Tiny Parrot,
Seriously?!?! That was half your body weight!
Sincerely,
The Pooped-On Carpet

Dear Cat,
Yes, I love you, too. Now get off my keyboard.
Sincerely,
The Laptop

Dear Butt
I love you, but I need more space. It’s not you, it’s me. I need to breathe. Just a short break, maybe 15 minutes or so.
Love
Couch

Dear Robins–
It’s rained for four days straight– you know what that means!!! Worm buffet on me! All you can eat:).
Sincerely,
The Driveway

Dear Phone.
Stop ringing every time I have to pee. I’ve got needs, too.
Full Bladder

Dear Bed,
You’re really making it hard for me to be successful at my job.
Sincerely,
Alarm Clock

Dear Death,
HA!
SIncerely,
Lyle  [the very sick dog who doesn't believe he's going to die]




Dear homework,
No, I will not spend all night doing you. I’m not that kind of girl.
Sincerely,
me

Dear Daughter
Please stop doing the pee pee dance, just as I sit down to dinner,
Love
Your mother

Minion in Motion!

A friend sent this cause it's how he imagines life around my house. Yes it is!! Minion looks just like this kitty! And that's her favorite toy!  Except now she's bigger... and never misses. ;-)

Minion chewing on her Bullwinkle stick

This is a doggy chew treat.

Naturally she likes these more expensive sticks better than the cheap ones from the dollar store, which she just bats around like toys.

My drug can take the world's troubles on its shoulders

What happened today...

Some background info.


1. This past winter my husband and I came to a bit of a crisis point in our marriage. No new issues, just a higher need to finally resolve old ones. And before you express sympathy for me, I've been more of the guilty party. :-(  I actually made myself a star chart to form some new better marriage habits. (Not stars, though. Stickers of kitties and dogs.) (You won't believe how motivated I am by stickers.) Anyway, we got through the worst of it, and we intend to go to counseling later, so all is well.

But the salient info is that almost every time we fought I ended up crying. And to the point that I felt like I was having a nervous breakdown. And one day in February, outside of a comic book store on a busy street, set off by something truly meaningless, I started crying uncontrollably and couldn't stop. This has never happened to me before. It was intellectually interesting. But it also turned out to be the turning point. A week later, after a speech by my husband, and a day of philosophizing while riding around on the bus, I pulled myself out of my general breakdown. But I do still cry easily.


2. I got a cold in February, which landed in my lungs. Once the cold cleared up, my lungs remained inflamed and I've had a cough ever since. Two weeks ago my GP gave me a pump, and it's pretty much gone now.


3. I've had chronic headaches since I was 20 (I'm 37). For a couple years I've been seeing a specialist. I take a daily medication (Elavil) that's helped a lot, and I have good drugs for getting rid of headaches when they come. In January I started a second daily med to prevent headaches. I reached the full dosage my doc was starting me at in February.


Today's Story

Today I went to see my headache doctor and we talked about the Topamax. I'd read about the side effects when I first went on it, but I don't tend to remember everything. And I'm not a worrier, so I don't look for side effects. When I started getting a lot of pins and needles, I remembered it was a side effect. When I was sick and found myself getting hot too easily, I realized I was sweating less and remembered it was a side effect. One day in February I had a Coke that tasted flat even though it wasn't flat, and hours later I remember it was a side effect (isn't that totally weird?)


But I forgot that one possible side effect is sluggish thinking, for example. Probably because I wouldn't want to remember that. I remembered today when she asked me about it. I told her that when I learn new French words, they seem to stick, so no, I don't think it's been a problem.


Then she asked me, how are my moods? I didn't know what she meant. She asked if I was feeling angry, or aggressive? No. Was I crying more?


... !!


Yeeees. I told her about my marriage problems.


She asked if the crying was uncontrollable.


!!!!


I told I thought I'd been having a nervous breakdown!


She kept asking more questions, I assume until she was comfortable I wasn't going into a depression, before upping my Topamax dose. And she said if the side effects get too bad, then to just cut my dose back again.



Just now I went back to re-read the side effects. I can see why the moods thing didn't stick with me, cause it's very broad. It doesn't say "uncontrollable crying" -- that might be something she's run into in her practice, or in journals etc.


BUT. It does say: upper respiratory tract infections.


So the thing is... I'm now going to blame everything in my life on Topamax. Got a cold? It's the Topamax. Marriage problems? Topamax. Cats fighting? Must be the Topamax. Not in the mood to do any chores? Obviously it's the Topamax.


Feel free to blame your problems on my drug too. My drug is big enough to handle it.

This week in...

CATS:

When Minion wants to suck my finger she has a very particular meow. A sort of rolling rrrowr?

Just now she was up in her tower, and as she climbed down she actually gave me an Advanced Warning Rrorwr. All the way down and then across the living room: Stop typing mahmmy I'm coming in for the finger.

Um kitteh, I'm trying to edit a student's paper yes?

No, mahmmy. Mebbe one handed.

In other news, Haley is super happy to have Fernando back. When I go away it's a month of sulk city. Not him! She's been gooshing like a gooshy thing. Cuddles galore. It's disgusting.

In Minion-chews-up-the-planet-news: Did I tell you I thought I'd found the perfect chew toy? A twig stool made by Fernando's foster father. Minion loved gnawing on it, and it won't break into swallowable pieces so I was happy. Then I realized she was actually making headway into destroying it! Est-ce possible?? Oui. Which Fernando wouldn't like, so I had to remove it.

Then I bought those fake bacon treats, which she could down in 1 minute.

This week I got thin doggie chew sticks (meat, not bone) about the same thickness as the twig chair (about the size of a finger.) She had a good long gnaw on it tonight, and it's half destroyed, so I think we may have found something at last. Phew

 

Haley's opinion of my lists of actions verbs.

"I'm the only action verb you need, lil mama."

More pictures that will tempt Swiss Girl to steal my cat. Let's hope there's no internet on her boat!

OFFLINE FRIENDS:

Went out with rrraquel at last, tonight. We canceled yesterday cause the weather sucked. It's nice to be able to cancel plans with a friend simply because you're both too wimpy to go out in bad weather.

FRENCH:

Started my verb exercise book. Very handy--recovering the basics, that's what I needed. And I'm reading my Châtelaine cover to cover, highlighting words or expressions I don't understand.

VEGAN:

Bought 4 packs of Daiya fake cheese that was at expiry date and so $1. Had nachos twice. Once ordered pizza and smothered in the cheese--this package was starting to mold, though I'd kept in the freezer. Just one spot, the rest was perfect. But I discovered that... three packages worth of Daiya cheese in one week... you can actually get sick of it. And I still have one left to go. Well, if I don't eat it, it was only a buck.

Okies back to what I was doing...

The Great Blog CatchUp (or sucking on lemons)

It's been a busy week at Casa Kitty. Apparently when you haven't lived with your husband for three weeks, you need to adjust to each other again. So I'm almost totally behind on my blog reading... it's 3:30 AM early Sunday morning... gonna put on some new music and attempt The Great Blog Catchup.

Fernando was just in the room. I just told him he's beautiful. He told me to go suck on a lemon. There's something particularly charming about having a grade three insult aimed at you.

Okay... off I go...

LISTENING TO:

hubby tracking update

It's 6:50 PM - still no sign of him. His plan landed at 5 PM.

lol

When you're married to Fernando Ferblantier, you don't worry when your husband goes AWOL. You just assume he's either:

(a) wandering the airport shopping

(b) has run into an immigrant who needs help with something and is showing them around Montreal

(c) met someone interesting on the plane and went to have dinner with them and talk for hours

(d) curled up in exhaustion on his bags and went to sleep.

Or all of the above.

Well, I had time to do groceries--they had Daiya cheese with today due date, for $1 per bag! I scooped up all four, put 3 in the freezer, kept one for supper. Nachos! But I'd better find something to eat in the meantime. Though I'm de-hair-greased, leg-shaved, perfumed, and festively dressed, none of it will matter when Fernando makes an appearance if I'm a total bitch.

I also bought flowers. He loves to receive flowers. (Okay Minion, leave some for Daddy, yes?)

 

Fernando arrived as I was writing this. Minion thought it was a visitor and ran away! And then, as he was coming in, the neighbor's smoke alarm went off so Haley ran and hid too! Some homecoming. We had to get out the Snappytoms so he could bond with his cats.

Tsk. Kids.

hubby tracking

Fernando is currently over Winnipeg. I still have time to put away the laundry and store up some provisions on the old homestead before he gets in.

He's been helping to care for three little peeples for three weeks--I suspect he's going to expect royal treatment for the rest of his time off (this week).

Haley knows he'll be back, cause she's seen us leave and return from vacations. Minion is confused, but she hasn't given up hope--she's an optimistic little kitty! She still raises her head optimistically when she hears bustling in the hallway. I look forward to seeing her excitement when The Bustle really does turn out to be Her Bustle.

Unfortunately I'll probably have to go help Fernando with his bags, and therefore won't get to witness it from this side of the door.  :-(  Should have made arrangements with him on the phone yesterday.

"Mahmmy's book says hope is a thing with feathers. ...I like feathers."

The Meowee East: Storms both Physical and Metaphorical (or Pathetic Fallacy by Haley teh Cat)

This video looks like a skit from The Muppet Show. I kept expecting to see people clinging horizontally to street lamps.


It's an exciting morning here in the Meowee East. It's 9 degrees Celcius (warm) and a thunder and lightning storm just passed through. I've got the balcony door open and wild winds are - a - blowin' through. Minion is acting like a FREAK. I wish you could see the look on Haley's face, but I only have my laptop for taking photos.

At first she was down here enjoying the storm, but then Minion went running up along her back...

 so she retreated to Wolverbean Towers.

Watching the rain and wind.

Rain and wind got up in her face so she LEAPED to her window.

"You're a freak and an idiot."

While Minion has to take the high spots from Haley all the time, in reality she only has one high spot she likes; otherwise she prefers the floor. This desk in the livingroom is her cave. Notice how she's hooked up her tunnel so that it leads into her cave.

She naps under the curtains, tucked under the heater. 

I suspect she discovered it one day when she fell off the heater, but she admits to nothing.

I've had to lock Minion in my bedroom, cause Haley wanted to come down and check out the wind. The window in my room lets out on a bird-filled tree. I tried telling Minion this, but she was all "No no no I wanna be with you!" [aka terrorize Haley.]

Perched on the Elizabeth Box, as regal as the Virgin Queen herself.

UPDATE ON THE COUSSIN DE POUVOIR (from yesterday)


Since moving it lower, Haley's been *allowed* to sit on it a lot more. But Minion is sensitive to her reputation cause right when I take a picture...
 

"You look entirely too comfortable on that coussin. OFF!" Takes coussin. Pretends to look like she's going to take a long nap.
  

Haley indifferent because though she's lost the coussin, she now has the high ground.

 

Minion soon realizes this is a losing proposition and leaves the coussin.