“Slides deploy extremely quickly, with enough force to kill a person,” he wrote. “Slides can be as dangerous as a gun, and that’s the reason we have intensive initial and recurrent training. It is an insult to all aviation professionals to have this particular element of the story treated without the seriousness it deserves.”
Oh come on, stop trying to spoil our fun! It's one of the most enjoyable stories I've read this year, even if it turns out to have happened differently than originally reported. The mental image of an employee telling off customers, then making a dramatic exit--it's... I'm gonna say it... it's awesome.