turns out i bought a ton of extra cold meds the last time i was sick, so i wouldn't be stuck!
note to self: 1 box of kleenex not enough backup
Wednesday, February 9, 2011
Still sick... but at least the cats are offering moral support
Quel night. Between 10 PM and 2 AM I got in 2 hours of sleep, then finally sat up and read my graphic novel for awhile. It felt like I was never ever going to be able to sleep again. It's very weird to feel exhausted, but convinced that you'll never fall asleep.
My added problem was my nose was SO runny. If my nose was too up towards the ceiling (when I was lying down I mean) then The Runny Stuff would run back into my throat and make it killer sore. If I put my nose forward towards the mattress, it would start to dribble out and I'd need to blow my nose. Neither of which is conducive to sleep. I finally put some towels on my pillow and said F**K IT! I'd rather dribble on my pillow and fall asleep in disgusting body fluids than not sleep at all from a sore throat. (This is what sleep depravity does to you.)
I finally slept from about 4 AM til 11. It was fitful, but it was Real Sleep. I still got a little bit of sore throat (I suppose even when unconscious one resists dripping mucous onto one's pillow) so I have a lot of vague memories of feeling the left side of my throat starting to get sore, so I'd roll over and fall back asleep. Then the right side would get sore, so I'd roll over again. Back and forth all night. And I thought to myself: I'm getting a nice even tan. I felt more than my usual pity for rotisserie chickens.
Today I don't feel as absolutely wretched as I did yesterday evening. Tomorrow I have a job seminar thingy in the morning, and a job coaching seminar in the afternoon, and then meeting a friend for dinner. So hopefully tonight I will fall asleep EARLIER than 4 AM. Fingers crossed.
I've been waiting for Fernando to call after work because I've run out of High Quality Tissue! I use cheap stuff, but keep 1 box of expensive stuff for colds, but my one box has run out. And I'm running low on cold medication. But I suspect he's not calling me on purpose. Yesterday he said:
- I might grab a bite at Scores after work.
I said - Call me anyway before you go. I might need something. I might need you to come home and care for me!
He said - You won't need me, you'll take care of yourself.
And I said - Call me just in case!
So I'm afraid he's not calling for fear I'll make him come home. [starts sobbing] I just want the Good Kleenex. [sobs harder] I just want more meds!! [breaks down]
Evil Minion says she'd make a trip to the store for me, if only she had opposable thumbs. What a good girl. Haley has offered to kill Daddy for me when he gets home. She too is a good girl, in her own way.
Now I have to go do my job coach homework.
Oh, good news though--Debbie Travis' book LOST. Ha ha!
My added problem was my nose was SO runny. If my nose was too up towards the ceiling (when I was lying down I mean) then The Runny Stuff would run back into my throat and make it killer sore. If I put my nose forward towards the mattress, it would start to dribble out and I'd need to blow my nose. Neither of which is conducive to sleep. I finally put some towels on my pillow and said F**K IT! I'd rather dribble on my pillow and fall asleep in disgusting body fluids than not sleep at all from a sore throat. (This is what sleep depravity does to you.)
I finally slept from about 4 AM til 11. It was fitful, but it was Real Sleep. I still got a little bit of sore throat (I suppose even when unconscious one resists dripping mucous onto one's pillow) so I have a lot of vague memories of feeling the left side of my throat starting to get sore, so I'd roll over and fall back asleep. Then the right side would get sore, so I'd roll over again. Back and forth all night. And I thought to myself: I'm getting a nice even tan. I felt more than my usual pity for rotisserie chickens.
Today I don't feel as absolutely wretched as I did yesterday evening. Tomorrow I have a job seminar thingy in the morning, and a job coaching seminar in the afternoon, and then meeting a friend for dinner. So hopefully tonight I will fall asleep EARLIER than 4 AM. Fingers crossed.
I've been waiting for Fernando to call after work because I've run out of High Quality Tissue! I use cheap stuff, but keep 1 box of expensive stuff for colds, but my one box has run out. And I'm running low on cold medication. But I suspect he's not calling me on purpose. Yesterday he said:
- I might grab a bite at Scores after work.
I said - Call me anyway before you go. I might need something. I might need you to come home and care for me!
He said - You won't need me, you'll take care of yourself.
And I said - Call me just in case!
So I'm afraid he's not calling for fear I'll make him come home. [starts sobbing] I just want the Good Kleenex. [sobs harder] I just want more meds!! [breaks down]
Evil Minion says she'd make a trip to the store for me, if only she had opposable thumbs. What a good girl. Haley has offered to kill Daddy for me when he gets home. She too is a good girl, in her own way.
Now I have to go do my job coach homework.
Oh, good news though--Debbie Travis' book LOST. Ha ha!
Tuesday, February 8, 2011
My cold gets worse, as does my disdain for Debbie Travis
Sickness
Great--I finally get past the headaches, and now I have a cold. The cold seemed little at first, but I'm not sleeping! Yesterday I woke up after 5 hours and couldn't fall back asleep. Great, I thought, I'll get a good looong sleep the next night. I was asleep by 2 AM and awake by 6 AM. Wide awake. Had to read a book in bed til 8 AM. Then slept in 1.5-2 hour increments til I finally got up at 1:30 PM. I had a mini dream each time. Like having little movies.
And it's not being sick that's keeping me awake--my only symptom is a stuffy nose and when I lay down it's fine.
In rebellion against Debbie Travis (see my facebook or Mabel Talk) I took out a graphic novel last night, and that's what I've been reading in bed. It's really good. Fun House by Alison Bechdel - she of the Bechdel test (that's why the name caught my eye at the library.)
My Debbie Grudge
I'm listening to Canada Reads, after hearing that Debbie Travis was a tool again today. Oh my days, she's ugggghhhhhhhmeeeehhhhhhhblehhhhh. She's saying The Reason we read is to be carried away, to escape. There is not ONE REASON why we read!!! She's saying it about movies too!!!
I'm just going to sit here and trash Debbie Travis, hope you don't mind.
I dislike the way they're doing Canada Reads. I don't think the participants should be the ones to vote, I think listeners should vote. Or audience members in the studio, if they want to be *sure* people tuned in. But I also almost feel like... each book shouldn't have its own defender, cause it makes the discussion stilted at times. Gomeshi has asked them "Which of these books is written the best?" and they're all saying "My book!" except Sara Quinn, because she's the only one whose book has been voted out. She's being honest and saying Carol Shields. They keep trying to say "My writing is best because it's accessible!" or "Because you get lost in it!"
Come on. You pick up a book by someone like Nadine Gordimer, and it's hard to read, and difficult to get through, and hard to get "lost in" but... oh my days. By the time you're done, it's sitting somewhere deep inside you. The writing happens at a whoooole different level.
I wouldn't choose Gordimer, or maybe Shields or Toni Morrison as a book to get people reading. But if we're talking about best writers, let's be honest.
Out of the books left, the one I'm most interested in reading is Best Laid Plans. Bone Cage sounds interesting, but maybe a little too sad for me.
Debbie:
* skipped pages of the Carol Shields
* Didn't finish Best Laid Plans - didn't think it was worth her time, isn't interested at all in Canadian politics (But then she voted against The Bone Cage.)
* Debbie: "It's very rare that we read books twice." Jian's reply: "Or you could finish this one!"
Awwww Laraque is heartbroken that The Bone Cage was voted off. He's an athlete and he wanted people to read it so they'd have a better understanding of what Olympic athletes go through--so they'd stop focusing so much on medals, and more on the effort and the striving. He's really upset! Well, if you're an Olympics fan, maybe you should read it! I'll give Debbie this, she's saying nice things to Laraque.
Ooh Laraque is officially throwing his support to Best Laid Plans, and judging by Sara Quinn's comments I think she will too. Maybe we can boot out Debbie's book! Which is too bad, because I know someone who loved The Birth House. But... I'm all about the grudge now.
Great--I finally get past the headaches, and now I have a cold. The cold seemed little at first, but I'm not sleeping! Yesterday I woke up after 5 hours and couldn't fall back asleep. Great, I thought, I'll get a good looong sleep the next night. I was asleep by 2 AM and awake by 6 AM. Wide awake. Had to read a book in bed til 8 AM. Then slept in 1.5-2 hour increments til I finally got up at 1:30 PM. I had a mini dream each time. Like having little movies.
And it's not being sick that's keeping me awake--my only symptom is a stuffy nose and when I lay down it's fine.
In rebellion against Debbie Travis (see my facebook or Mabel Talk) I took out a graphic novel last night, and that's what I've been reading in bed. It's really good. Fun House by Alison Bechdel - she of the Bechdel test (that's why the name caught my eye at the library.)
My Debbie Grudge
I'm listening to Canada Reads, after hearing that Debbie Travis was a tool again today. Oh my days, she's ugggghhhhhhhmeeeehhhhhhhblehhhhh. She's saying The Reason we read is to be carried away, to escape. There is not ONE REASON why we read!!! She's saying it about movies too!!!
I'm just going to sit here and trash Debbie Travis, hope you don't mind.
I dislike the way they're doing Canada Reads. I don't think the participants should be the ones to vote, I think listeners should vote. Or audience members in the studio, if they want to be *sure* people tuned in. But I also almost feel like... each book shouldn't have its own defender, cause it makes the discussion stilted at times. Gomeshi has asked them "Which of these books is written the best?" and they're all saying "My book!" except Sara Quinn, because she's the only one whose book has been voted out. She's being honest and saying Carol Shields. They keep trying to say "My writing is best because it's accessible!" or "Because you get lost in it!"
Come on. You pick up a book by someone like Nadine Gordimer, and it's hard to read, and difficult to get through, and hard to get "lost in" but... oh my days. By the time you're done, it's sitting somewhere deep inside you. The writing happens at a whoooole different level.
I wouldn't choose Gordimer, or maybe Shields or Toni Morrison as a book to get people reading. But if we're talking about best writers, let's be honest.
Out of the books left, the one I'm most interested in reading is Best Laid Plans. Bone Cage sounds interesting, but maybe a little too sad for me.
Debbie:
* skipped pages of the Carol Shields
* Didn't finish Best Laid Plans - didn't think it was worth her time, isn't interested at all in Canadian politics (But then she voted against The Bone Cage.)
* Debbie: "It's very rare that we read books twice." Jian's reply: "Or you could finish this one!"
Awwww Laraque is heartbroken that The Bone Cage was voted off. He's an athlete and he wanted people to read it so they'd have a better understanding of what Olympic athletes go through--so they'd stop focusing so much on medals, and more on the effort and the striving. He's really upset! Well, if you're an Olympics fan, maybe you should read it! I'll give Debbie this, she's saying nice things to Laraque.
Ooh Laraque is officially throwing his support to Best Laid Plans, and judging by Sara Quinn's comments I think she will too. Maybe we can boot out Debbie's book! Which is too bad, because I know someone who loved The Birth House. But... I'm all about the grudge now.
Monday, February 7, 2011
so cold, she's so cold
I don't talk about my personal life much on my blogs. I feel bad about it sometimes, cause I feel like it makes it hard for people to connect with me online. First, my blogs aren't anonymous from my friends and family--I started this blog as a way to stay in touch with my family when they moved out west, not as a place to vent. And then I don't want to talk about other people's personal stories or issues, without their permission. Cause they know that our other friends might be reading! Or they might not like strangers reading! Or they might not want to see MY take on their situation, here in writing!!
Second, when I was still as my old job, I really couldn't talk about it, tell stories about it. As a manager I signed some sort of contract which I'm sure says something about confidentiality in it. But also, I've always been conscious of that feeling: What if a future employer checked out my blog? I can't write about a past job in any light that makes me look lazy, whiny, trouble-makee, etc. I have a pretty vast range of opinions on work related topics that I'm not comfortable sharing, except in the occasional comment on someone else's blog.
Third, there are other things that I don't feel super private about, but my husband's a much more private person. So I think of him as well. He doesn't usually read my blog, but the principle still has to apply.
Fourth, I do have a pseudonym here, which in theory could protect me from future employers and such. But I've ended up using London Mabel as my login for everything, including my non-personal blogs like Mabel Talk, which I want to use in a professional capacity, and for my website which sort of represents me as a writer. To make this blog more personal I'd have to find a way to disconnect it from my brand, so to speak.
And so that leaves me... the cats. Their personal lives get tossed around like Princess Diana's.
As Rorschach would say... hrm.
Second, when I was still as my old job, I really couldn't talk about it, tell stories about it. As a manager I signed some sort of contract which I'm sure says something about confidentiality in it. But also, I've always been conscious of that feeling: What if a future employer checked out my blog? I can't write about a past job in any light that makes me look lazy, whiny, trouble-makee, etc. I have a pretty vast range of opinions on work related topics that I'm not comfortable sharing, except in the occasional comment on someone else's blog.
Third, there are other things that I don't feel super private about, but my husband's a much more private person. So I think of him as well. He doesn't usually read my blog, but the principle still has to apply.
Fourth, I do have a pseudonym here, which in theory could protect me from future employers and such. But I've ended up using London Mabel as my login for everything, including my non-personal blogs like Mabel Talk, which I want to use in a professional capacity, and for my website which sort of represents me as a writer. To make this blog more personal I'd have to find a way to disconnect it from my brand, so to speak.
And so that leaves me... the cats. Their personal lives get tossed around like Princess Diana's.
As Rorschach would say... hrm.
accusations of sickatude
I have a wee head cold. I noticed when I used to work that people love to blame other people for making them sick--which is absurd because you can pick up germs from any number of surfaces, and when you're in retail and have sick kids all over your store, and you're touching germed up product, and germy money, and you're working with a store full of students who aren't getting enough sleep, and you add into that the fact that people are usually contagious before they show symptoms... who the hell knows where you caught your cold from! But "YOU gave me this cold!" is the first thing you hear. It's very weird.
However I can count the # of times I've had to leave the house this winter (woo!) so (a) this is my first cold in age, and (b) there can be no other source but him. I don't even think I checked the mail in the last few days. I did open the door to put recycling in the hall for him to take out... but I wouldn't have touched the outside handle. However he didn't show any symptoms, so he just carried this cold home for me to have. Isn't that sweet? It's ok, it's very very little.
However I can count the # of times I've had to leave the house this winter (woo!) so (a) this is my first cold in age, and (b) there can be no other source but him. I don't even think I checked the mail in the last few days. I did open the door to put recycling in the hall for him to take out... but I wouldn't have touched the outside handle. However he didn't show any symptoms, so he just carried this cold home for me to have. Isn't that sweet? It's ok, it's very very little.
Saturday, February 5, 2011
ah! ah!
I purposely got up a bit early today, so I could go to bed on time. But I've got soooo many things I want to do these days, that once I settle down at my computer for the night, my brain wakes up, and time flies, and next thing I know it's... 4:20 AM!
Huff!
I have to make myself go to bed.
Since leaving my job last November, I hadn't gone through a bad headache spell--until this past end of January. I can think of 6 reasons, after my period, why it happened. But the basic result is I was fuzzy brained and less productive. So now I'm having a good week and wanting to jump back in with both feet, and there's just too much to do! Too much fun! Too much to process! Ah! Ah!
Gotta feed the cats and bolt.
Huff!
I have to make myself go to bed.
Since leaving my job last November, I hadn't gone through a bad headache spell--until this past end of January. I can think of 6 reasons, after my period, why it happened. But the basic result is I was fuzzy brained and less productive. So now I'm having a good week and wanting to jump back in with both feet, and there's just too much to do! Too much fun! Too much to process! Ah! Ah!
Gotta feed the cats and bolt.
daydreaming of nuthin'
I was just reading someone's personal blog, and she was daydreaming about what she'd do if she won the lottery. She has all these specific plans!
I don't tend to have these sorts of fantasies. I think I have a fear of it. Like... I'll get too excited about the dream, and when the reality doesn't match up, I'll be disappointed. And I don't want to be disappointed by my cute wee life. I'll have those flitting "and then if I was a bestselling novelist!" moments, and I push them out really quick.
I'm not sure it's even healthy, though. Is it better to have nice specific fantasies? Something to reach for? As Rorschach would say: Hrm.
If I had Money tomorrow... what would I do? I can't answer it. If it was enough to last the rest of mine and Fernando's life, I guess the first thing I'd do is look for a good money manager-person. Put all the money into the right places before I go and foolishly blow it all. Then I suppose we might move out west and buy a home. But if we were really rich, I guess we could have a home here too!
And then, you know, decide how much to give to charity, family members, friends and such. And then decide what fun we'd like to have. I mean, other than "not work, write novels, travel" I really would have no plans. Just decide as I go.
Maybe for this fantasy to work I need to think in terms of less money, like a million dollars. But I don't know how much anything costs, so then it's just confusing.
Nah, this fantasy just doesn't work for my brain. Sigh. I am not Le Type.
I don't tend to have these sorts of fantasies. I think I have a fear of it. Like... I'll get too excited about the dream, and when the reality doesn't match up, I'll be disappointed. And I don't want to be disappointed by my cute wee life. I'll have those flitting "and then if I was a bestselling novelist!" moments, and I push them out really quick.
I'm not sure it's even healthy, though. Is it better to have nice specific fantasies? Something to reach for? As Rorschach would say: Hrm.
If I had Money tomorrow... what would I do? I can't answer it. If it was enough to last the rest of mine and Fernando's life, I guess the first thing I'd do is look for a good money manager-person. Put all the money into the right places before I go and foolishly blow it all. Then I suppose we might move out west and buy a home. But if we were really rich, I guess we could have a home here too!
And then, you know, decide how much to give to charity, family members, friends and such. And then decide what fun we'd like to have. I mean, other than "not work, write novels, travel" I really would have no plans. Just decide as I go.
Maybe for this fantasy to work I need to think in terms of less money, like a million dollars. But I don't know how much anything costs, so then it's just confusing.
Nah, this fantasy just doesn't work for my brain. Sigh. I am not Le Type.
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