Night of the Ant Graveyard

Ants Part I
Ants Part II

Had to kill several ants for awhile there, but the wave seems to have ended. I don't know if they manage to get a message back through the lines: Medieval Days and Ways is out, retreat retreat!

My brother said he saw in a show that ants pick up the bodies and bring them to a graveyard, and I said: "now I feel like I didn't let them bury their dead. :-( It's gonna turn into one of those weird Earth 2 episodes, where I think I'm being menaced by ants, but no, they're just here mourning, come back to claim the bodies I put in the trash with the kleenexi."

At one point tonight one of the ants picked up a dead body and hefted it around a bit and I thought: My God it's true! Is he going to carry it back home?

He walked around a bit, dropped it, and kept on his way. Wham. Down went the book.

Just now as I was writing this, a more hearty comrade came along and picked up one of the many bodies I'd left in a pile. He started carting it across my room. I was hoping he'd take it out so I could see where they're coming from, cause it's driving me crazy. Even when I'm watching the window and heater, they appear like magic before my eyes, I never see one enter!

But I watched him carry his buddy across the length of my room, and I'm like, great, he doesn't know the way out. Or the Ant Graveyard is somewhere in my apartment.

Well it turns out it's in front of the cat box, because that's where he left the body.

For the love. I had to kill him. And his little friends too. Well I was going to, but they'd disappeared by then. I'd let two more live, hoping to watch them collect bodies too, but I guess only one was on the graveyard shift. The other got lost in my bookcase, and another vanished into thin air.

I somehow lost Medieval Days, so now it's the 1993 Writer's Market. I'm gonna have to do more research cause I do not know what they're doing. Hoping to set up a new nest in the dust bunnies under my wooden book case?? They're very interested in that one case, and that one shelf.

Maybe the last two that lived have returned to tell the tale of the dead bodies.

Return of the Ants

Ants Part I

Ahh the ants are back and in greater numbers! And Minion's pouting because when she showed me a spider yesterday I didn't kill it.

"We don't kill spiders."
"It's black and has lots of legs and moves!"
"It moves very fast and has more legs. Makes it a spider."
"Kill it!!"
"You kill it! I'm only interested in ants."

So she's being aloof.

I'm leaving the dead bodies of the ants out, as warnings. They keep coming up on my desk, which seems courteous of them.

"Hallos!"
"You know I'm going to kill you."
"I heard you were vegan."
"Have you heard of leading-a-compassionate-but-not-perfect-life?"
"No."

And down goes Medieval Days and Ways. Poor anties.

I remember a few years ago some Buddhist monks who had a bug infestation and wouldn't kill the bugs, or hire anyone to kill them. But made their problem known so if someone wanted to come aloooong and take care of it for them... Come on--

ah! Killed another and one escaped me. Where are they coming in?? I can't tell! It's gotta be right behind my desk. Gonna look again.

Entertaining Myself With My Taxes

I repaired to the office (bedroom) today to do The Taxes. I find it mildly enjoyable, if given time and space. Had plenty of both.

The felines were present for moral support.

  

I used Ufile first, cause I used to find it easier than Quicktax. But they were TOO simple and tried to make me declare thousands less to the Quebec government, which I don't think They would have appreciated.

Ufile was all...!! Woo!!

 

 "U file silly" I told it.

After some fiddling, and sending an email which still hasn't been answered, I tried out Turbotax.

I was immediately struck by THE CUTESINESS OF IT ALL!

 

And who wouldn't want to follow this wee roadmap??

 

If the Israelis and Palestinians were given this as a Roadmap to Peace, they'd make real headway. Who wouldn't be eager to get to step 2, step 3, step 4 5 and the FLAG! "Let's get this borders thing settled, boys, I want get to the picture of Jerusalem!"

Compared to Ufile:

  

Plus they had a screen in the corner that suspensefully increased and decreased with every question I answered and data I entered! Ohhh the drama of it all! (No this was not the final number. But the drama!!)

And let's not forget the window on the right where you could check in on everyone else's livetime agonies, and either laugh at their stupid questions, or get answers to your stupid questions.

 

I was able to enter the T4 and Relevé information accurately this time, and fiddle with my donations, and I understood the medical expenses better (I should have been keeping prescription bills all year, for the amounts not covered by insurance - frick!)

People often suggest I should hire someone, and I have done when Fernando or I had back years to catch up on. But with a couple simple T4s, it's really not worth it. It's gotten more and more expensive, whereas this cost me $30 for the two of us. If I had a business, or worked freelance etc., then I'd hire someone.

The other question to consider is how much my time is worth--my pay per hour. But I measure that against the self-esteem I gain from accomplishing the work, and the sense of confidence from better understanding my taxes, and what I need to be doing throughout the year to prepare for next year's. That's worth my time.

Of course, like many things in life, it's all a big LETDOWN when the other guy isn't there for you in the end. I tried to upload my files and both governments were all "We're, like, SLEEPING now? And you have until MAY 6 moron? So like come back at 7 AM like a real person. F**cking night owls."

 

 

I'm gonna go make cookiez.   :-)  Booyakasha.


Thanks to my dad for putting up with my breathtaking tax updates all night.

Haley did it again

Sister-in-law visiting yesterday. Said to Haley: "I thought you were supposed to be the mean one!"

Haley: "Meh heh heh hehhhhh."

They never see her favorite game, cause I don't let her get this way around guests. By the way, the number 1 rule of all cat training is: Human hands aren't toys.

If I stop playing too soon, she prowls and meowls and then nips at my arm or my toes, whichever is closer.

Ease out with an ear rub.

Alas poor anties... I squished them with Medieval Days and Ways

It's the time for all good vegans to run for the hills and ignore my blog... the killing time. It was 20 degrees today so the big fat black ants attempted another home invasion.

I kill them. If I have to renounce the vegan title, I will. I've had one invasion that made a little headway, and I've heard horror stories of people trying to get rid of ant invasions. They are smart and they are tough and they are organized. The spiders, on the other hand, hang out in every corner unmolested; and I have a shy silverfish living in my bathroom.

My dudes live on the outside of my building, and since the first ants are scouts, I've realized that ruthlessly killing the first ones takes care of the problem each year. Well... the needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few. I don't mean humans, I mean the many ants who would die if they found food, brought the message back to the nest, and then made a real invasion, and I had to move from book-to-ant combat, to chemical means.

I wish the cats would kill them, then I could keep my hands clean. But she does spot them, which helps. We just killed three in a row.

Medieval Days and Ways, and a kleenex, are on the floor ready in case she spots another--she's periodically checking. I'll have to check Fernando's room tomorrow, cause in the past, when it was our living room, it was the scene of frequent invasions--it's nearer the lawn.

You can poke your head out the window and see the ant highway traveling along the building at times. My goal each year is to send the message: Beyond that window, our brave scouts did not return. Move along, move along.

update: she just took a nap, then found me a 4th - those ants won't know what hit 'em

update: that's a lot of ants. These might not be scouts - scouts might have learned that I feed Minion in this room, and they've come to collect! I'd better move her back to the bathroom. (I feed her here so she won't eat Haley's food, the little thief. Minion sucks up her portion like a hoover, then races over to Haley's. Haley had taken to grabbing her soft food in one clump and running off with it!)

Maudite Petite Cat!!

I found a vomited up piece of plastic today. Small blue bubble wrap. I've looked around the house and I can't figure out where the hell she got it from!! &#*$*&#@&!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!*!*

Thank god she threw it up.

UPDATE: I think she tore it off something in the forbidden room, which she was in for 30 seconds yesterday. Which is reassuring, cause it just means being extra careful about not letting her in there. 

Celebrating Easter in Style

One of the bloggers I read (one of the Betties I've mentioned) - her mother does something for each holiday that I LOVE.

Context: Stuffed animals were my best friends in childhood, and I have around 50. Right now there's a stuffed minotaur on my printer.

Her mother has a wagon with a little gang of stuffies in it, and she gives them different outfits for each holiday. For Easter (or Ostaran) she knitted them hats and matching purses.

I imagine this gang goes out and gets into trouble each holiday, the designated stuffy driver pulling a wagon full of wasted animals home at 4 AM, someone holding the dolls curls back as she pukes.