Minion Vs Christmas Tree: And then she brought her game up a notch

I was up all night and into the morning on January 1st, working on stuff. Minion was sitting under the tree, going through her usual routine. I watched her work her way through each ornament...

pine cone

snowman

 plastic star

bell

wood garland

 

 

bored bored bored

 

 She got up on the heater, leaned on the branches, and started reaching for other ornaments. She pulled a bird off, and I thought--ah this is how she gets off the higher ornaments.

Then she got a reach-for-the-top look in her eye...

(Haley watching.)

 

Minion shook the tree and down came Ted Angel. Another sad casualty in the Christmas War.

Minion casually stepped over the body.

 Minion disappeared behind the tree, and I kept working. And next thing I knew, there she was, halfway up the center of the tree, and climbing.

She got about two thirds up, and just sat there.

She just hung out. Occasionally changed position. And ate ornaments.

This became her new routine:

1. Examine ornaments (hmm there's nice ones up here at the top)

2. Give a little chew

3. Bat it

4. Watch with Surprised Look! on face when the ornament falls off the tree.

This is the look I get after a "Don't chew the lights!" command.

But it's the surprised look on her face every time another ornament falls that gets me every time. "Bat bat bat... wha-!! It fell! WTF??"

I moved the monkey off the tree before I got a "Bat bat bat -- wha-! WTF? [smashing noise] Ooh! That was excitin'! Do we have more of those?"

A stern talking to.

Aaaaand right back into the tree. There was fresh air coming in through the open window, so she started scampering around the apartment, and then taking flying leaps into the tree.

I finally decided the war against the tree had to end. I wouldn't mind her hanging out in it, but she's determined to eat the lightbulbs and the plastic stars. Anything with bits that break off and could choke her, she's interested in.

I got out the cat repellent I bought years ago but never tried. I sprayed the whole tree. It smells, let me tell you, like cat piss. Which made me suspect its repellence abilities. But she eventually came back to the tree, paused at the strange smell, and proceeded to climb into it.

I found a spray bottle, twisted the cap to maximum jet velocity, and sprayed her out of the tree. Well. That got her attention. When she came back later for another go, she got another squirt up the backside, and did a backflip off the lower branch.

Then I went to bed.

My husband woke up at 4 PM--we didn't see each other so I didn't have a chance to warn him. He found her hanging out... in the tree.

Loo loo loo

Just hangin' in my tree, yo. "I'm on a tree, I'm on a tree, I'm on a motherfuckin' tree!"

I've continued to use the water bottle on her, and once when she was chasing Haley. It works for now, but I suspect the Minion is like the Borg, and it won't be long before she adapts.

Side Story: When my only cats were Nombly and Sherry, I tried using the water bottle on them to keep from being woken up too early. But here's the problem--cats know that only one nagger is required. If I have three cats who want to be fed, only one of them is the designated meower--the others just shut up and watch. So there I was with two waker-uppers. I would spray Nombly, and that would work--out he'd run. So Sherry would take over nagging duties. I tried to spray him, but he had really thick fur. It didn't take long for him to realize that he only had the turn his face away, and I could spray him as much as he liked, he couldn't feel a thing. "Meow. Wake up. Meow. Breakfast. Meow." 

So it's been a long time since I've employed the bottle. If it doesn't work, the tree's gotta come down.