2009 Christmas Music Roundup or Broadway Cares but I Don't

Ahhh. Nanowrimo is over, work's caught up, it's the weekend. Time to check out some Christmas music.

First and foremost, the best Christmas comedy album of the year: Christmas in the Heart by Bob Dylan. Here's one review:

Think of the old Christmas records your grandparents used to play, complete with sleigh bells and sugarcoated backing vocals. Now, substitute Bing Crosby or Perry Como’s croon with Dylan’s ragged croak. If you can imagine that combination, you have Christmas in the Heart in a chestnut shell.

There's no way I'm buying it, but sometimes I go into iTunes and click on the sample of "Hark the Herald" just to give myself a smile. You can go to his web site, click choose a song, and listen for yourself. Check him out singing in Latin on Adeste Fideles. He basically sounds like a parody of himself. You know, when you make your friends laugh by saying: "Okay, now sing it Bob Dylan style! Mah hahahahah..."





______________________________________________Broadway singers doing Christmas. Absolutely nothing original here.




______________________________________________Let's see how Very Special Christmas is this year... most iTunes peeps are giving it one star, and it does indeed sound bland. But I wouldn't kick "Do You Hear What I Hear" or "Last Christmas" out of bed for eating crackers. They're cute, as far as pop renditions go.







______________________________________________This pop rock compilation is pretty forgettable except for Spirit of the West's "Christmas Eve." What I don't get is covers that just try to sound like the original. That's why I dislike most covers of "Santa Baby"--they never bring anything new. And same goes for the "Little Saint Nick" on this one. Why not just buy the Beach Boys in that case?

But... if you want your funny-punk Christmas song for the year, I vote for Third Eye Blind's "One of Those Christmas Days." Here's the entire lyrics:

I'm gonna stuff my present up your chimney
And the melted snow will make it all wet
Cuz it's gonna be one of those Christmas days
Spent in bed
I will be your little drummer boy
I'll beat it till you feel no pain
Cuz baby you're my Christmas joy
When you're sucking on my candy cane



It's no "Fairytale of New York" but... how many songwriters can combine Christmas magic, drunks, fights, humour, a punk sensibility, and beautiful romance? (Answer: Exactly 2 people - Shane McGowan and Jem Finer.)



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On the topic of "Fairy Tale" there's a new cover this year from Stars. It's... pretty, but just wrong. If you're gonna call someone a scumbag and maggot you gotta sound like you mean it.






______________________________________________I decided to invest in a classic this year, Vince Guaraldi's Charlie Brown Christmas. I love the instrumental version of "Christmas Time is Here."





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I've never been a big Bocelli fan, but in the genre of Sentimental Christmas Songs, this is quite lovely--from his new Christmas album.



Then I wondered if it was a new song, or an original, and came across another "I Believe" song:



And this also led me to a 90s one hit wonder I'd forgotten about.






______________________________________________Now if you want spooky-wintery-feeling type holiday albums, there are a couple new ones.

Sting's If On a Wintry Night - this is "Soul Cake"



Tori Amos' Midwinter Graces - this is "Star of Wonder" (when the chorus comes, it's awesome.)



"Winter's Carol"






______________________________________________Sugarland for the country folk. Their "O Come O Come Emmanuel" (iTunes link) is really good. I don't know why they haven't posted it on their site or myspace--it's the most downloaded song. Speaking of cover songs, I just discovered Sugarland has a great live album with some cover songs.

Okay sorry, back to Christmas...




______________________________________________If you like Glee... or you like your Mission Impossible mixed with your "We Three Kings" then the new Straight No Chaser might be your thing. The album includes their viral hit from last year, "12 Days of Christmas" culminating in "Africa." "9 ladies milking, they were miiiilking just for meeee!"






______________________________________________If you like KT Tunstall she does a good job of "Baby Please Come Home" (though I still think U2 did the definitive rock version.) It's on the Now compilation this year, but is actually from 2007. Which begs the question... why is the compilation called Now?




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You want to know what's the #1 Christmas single, every year, on Canadian iTunes? It pretty much never leaves that spot.






______________________________________________If you want to imagine how Prince might have written a Christmas song, back in his dirty days, listen to Lady Gaga's Christmas song. Chorus: "Light me up with me on top lets falalalala lalalala." (Actually Prince did write a Christmas song called "Another Lonely Christmas" and it's about a guy's lover who died on Christmas.)



Well... that's about it.