overheard at the office

Coder #1: I just can't work in these pants!
Coder #2, raising hand: Seconded!
Boss #1: No! Motion fails!
Boss #2: Indeed -- pants remain a workplace requirement!

7255 East Hampton Avenue
Mesa, Arizona

Overheard by: Chris Cardinal

*

Reporter #1: How should I identify a chicken at a press conference? There was a guy in a chicken suit who refused to give me his name.
Reporter #2: If it was a guy in a suit, I think you'd have to call him an 'Unidentified chicken impersonator.'

400 East Pratt Street
Baltimore, Maryland

Overheard by: Jack Ace, reporter-at-large

*

Boss, setting down ancient computing equipment: I don't know what's going to happen when I turn this on. Hopefully it won't catch on fire...
Minion: Then why is it on my desk?

Tyco Road
Vienna, Virginia

Overheard by: Hiding behind the bookshelves

*

2PM Astonished at His Success, the Customer Went on to Broker Peace Between the Israelis and the Palestinians

Counter person: Hi, can I help you?
Customer: Yes, I'd like a dinner for twelve, please.
Counter person: Oh, I'm sorry. For orders that large you have to call catering at least twenty-four hours in advance.
Customer: Er, then how about two dinners for six?
Counter person: Oh, sure, we can do that.

Boston Market, Highway 60 and Limona Road
Brandon, Florida

Overheard by: Stefanie

*

Female employee #1: ...so if the sun exploded seven minutes ago, we wouldn't know it yet, because it takes eight minutes for the sun's light to reach us.
Male employee: That's depressing! What would you do in those seven minutes?
Female employee #1: If I were at work? Have sex.
Male employee: Isn't that's a lot of pressure on the guy?
Female employee #1: Please. Guys are usually all, "Gimme two minutes!"
Female employee #2: You could do three guys in that time!
Female employee #1: Three and a half!

Boulevard Sacré Coeur
Gatineau, Quebec

Overheard by: Sara

*

Engineer #1: If you flush the toilet, you lose water pressure?! So it's like, "Sorry, the dishwasher is running. We have no fire protection."

Pause.

Engineer #2: Who flushes the toilet if their house is on fire?

700 West Capitol Avenue
Little Rock, Arkansas

*

Bossman: Ted*, keep in mind: if you screw this up, we will beat you like a pinñata. We'll beat you till the candy comes out.

Denver, Colorado

Overheard by: Bossman Cometh