Navel Gazing: The Books That Changed My Life - Forget the habits, just learn this 1 thing

Seven Habits of Highly Effective People - Stephen Covey

This book is actually too densely written, hard to get through, too complex to be easily applied to everyday life. But when I was re-reading some bits last year I realized that I'd internalized a lot of it. The main thing I got from it: That you should plant your identity in principles, and not in externals that you can lose. Don't take your identity from being a spouse, or a parent, or an employee, or an activist, or a student, or whatever. You can lose ANY of them at any time, and then you'll lose your identity. I've seen that happen.

But your core beliefs can't be taken from you; and Covey argues that there are principles that are fairly universal, and those you especially can't take away from someone. Ever since then I've carried around this idea that at the core of my person is a set of beliefs that I won't let anyone touch, except myself. They change, they evolve, but only at my bidding.

At this point I wish I could embed Joni Mitchell's "The Sire of Sorrow" but it's disabled on youtube. It's her song from Job's point of view, and Job is the ultimate story about who you are once everything's been stripped from you.

Once I was blessed
I was awaited like the rain
Like eyes for the blind, like feet for the lame
Kings heard my words, and they sought out my company
But now the janitors of Shadowland flick their brooms at me.