Bantha Poodoo and other depressing topics

I didn't sleep on the flight coming home, because it came in at 4 AM Vancouver time, which is when I go to bed. And then I didn't go to sleep until we got back from the vet around noon. I slept four hours, and haven't been able to go back to bed since. I tried once, but I felt too lonely, and came back out to watch TV, in the livingroom where Fernando was playing Warcraft. When I ran out of shows to watch, I watched a movie on youtube. It's 5 AM now, I'm gonna take my sleepy-headache pill, and then start another movie. See if I get tired enough to fall asleep. I get insomnia-ish when I'm sad. That's when I can understand why some people drink until they pass out. Normally Nombly would be hanging out on the couch with me, cause he always liked to be with people. Haley and Sherry are no help... she's up in her basket on the shelf, and I don't see Sherry so he's probably in my bedroom. He needs lots of personal space. Maybe I'll go get my stuffed cat and sit him on the couch with me. She's got a meaner temperament than Nombly (I got her when I was in school, and it was her job to watch me under lowered brows and make sure I was doing my homework) but at least she's gray.


I've been thinking about Bantha today--the Rottweiler my roommate (later sister in law) had. He was a beautiful dog, so frisky and lovable. He LOVED cats. He used to have a stuffed cat, and it was the only toy he wouldn't chew on and rip up, and when he accidentally tore the ear he was upset and Delyriam had to sew it back. Sherry stayed the hell away from him, but Nombly was very indignant at being shnuffled. Once Nombly was sitting up on the freezer-chest, and Bantha got sent out of the room for being naughty, and Nombly whacked him on the butt as he passed.

Years later, when Delyriam was married to my brother, Bantha got sick. I don't remember what the original symptoms were, but in the end they thought he had cancer. They tried all kinds of treatments, but the life just ebbed out of him. I remember going over to visit him, and he would just lay on the floor, listless, showing no interest in being petted etc. It was SO awful. Horrible. When my cat Ernie got sick enough to be put down, he never got to the point where he was that listless. He stopped eating and drinking, but he still liked to cuddle. But with Bantha it was heartbreaking. That's the one thing I'm just so glad we avoided with Nombly--that it all happened rather fast.

Not that that prevents me from crying every 2 minutes, but still... Nombly had a bad heart for most of his life, and the condition was much worse the last time we went to the vet, in the spring. But it didn't show. He looked and acted like an old cat much of the time, but he would still chase Haley around, and dance on my pillow to wake me up, and chase moths that came into the apartment. Fernando and I always hoped he'd have a massive heart attack while chasing Haley through the apartment, and just immediately die. I guess this was about as close as you can get to that. And I shudder to think of this happening if we'd been at work. Imagine dying (alone) because you slowly choke and suffocate? It's too awful to think of.

Okay. Off to take my pills and try another film and have a few more cries.