My drug can take the world's troubles on its shoulders

What happened today...

Some background info.


1. This past winter my husband and I came to a bit of a crisis point in our marriage. No new issues, just a higher need to finally resolve old ones. And before you express sympathy for me, I've been more of the guilty party. :-(  I actually made myself a star chart to form some new better marriage habits. (Not stars, though. Stickers of kitties and dogs.) (You won't believe how motivated I am by stickers.) Anyway, we got through the worst of it, and we intend to go to counseling later, so all is well.

But the salient info is that almost every time we fought I ended up crying. And to the point that I felt like I was having a nervous breakdown. And one day in February, outside of a comic book store on a busy street, set off by something truly meaningless, I started crying uncontrollably and couldn't stop. This has never happened to me before. It was intellectually interesting. But it also turned out to be the turning point. A week later, after a speech by my husband, and a day of philosophizing while riding around on the bus, I pulled myself out of my general breakdown. But I do still cry easily.


2. I got a cold in February, which landed in my lungs. Once the cold cleared up, my lungs remained inflamed and I've had a cough ever since. Two weeks ago my GP gave me a pump, and it's pretty much gone now.


3. I've had chronic headaches since I was 20 (I'm 37). For a couple years I've been seeing a specialist. I take a daily medication (Elavil) that's helped a lot, and I have good drugs for getting rid of headaches when they come. In January I started a second daily med to prevent headaches. I reached the full dosage my doc was starting me at in February.


Today's Story

Today I went to see my headache doctor and we talked about the Topamax. I'd read about the side effects when I first went on it, but I don't tend to remember everything. And I'm not a worrier, so I don't look for side effects. When I started getting a lot of pins and needles, I remembered it was a side effect. When I was sick and found myself getting hot too easily, I realized I was sweating less and remembered it was a side effect. One day in February I had a Coke that tasted flat even though it wasn't flat, and hours later I remember it was a side effect (isn't that totally weird?)


But I forgot that one possible side effect is sluggish thinking, for example. Probably because I wouldn't want to remember that. I remembered today when she asked me about it. I told her that when I learn new French words, they seem to stick, so no, I don't think it's been a problem.


Then she asked me, how are my moods? I didn't know what she meant. She asked if I was feeling angry, or aggressive? No. Was I crying more?


... !!


Yeeees. I told her about my marriage problems.


She asked if the crying was uncontrollable.


!!!!


I told I thought I'd been having a nervous breakdown!


She kept asking more questions, I assume until she was comfortable I wasn't going into a depression, before upping my Topamax dose. And she said if the side effects get too bad, then to just cut my dose back again.



Just now I went back to re-read the side effects. I can see why the moods thing didn't stick with me, cause it's very broad. It doesn't say "uncontrollable crying" -- that might be something she's run into in her practice, or in journals etc.


BUT. It does say: upper respiratory tract infections.


So the thing is... I'm now going to blame everything in my life on Topamax. Got a cold? It's the Topamax. Marriage problems? Topamax. Cats fighting? Must be the Topamax. Not in the mood to do any chores? Obviously it's the Topamax.


Feel free to blame your problems on my drug too. My drug is big enough to handle it.

This week in...

CATS:

When Minion wants to suck my finger she has a very particular meow. A sort of rolling rrrowr?

Just now she was up in her tower, and as she climbed down she actually gave me an Advanced Warning Rrorwr. All the way down and then across the living room: Stop typing mahmmy I'm coming in for the finger.

Um kitteh, I'm trying to edit a student's paper yes?

No, mahmmy. Mebbe one handed.

In other news, Haley is super happy to have Fernando back. When I go away it's a month of sulk city. Not him! She's been gooshing like a gooshy thing. Cuddles galore. It's disgusting.

In Minion-chews-up-the-planet-news: Did I tell you I thought I'd found the perfect chew toy? A twig stool made by Fernando's foster father. Minion loved gnawing on it, and it won't break into swallowable pieces so I was happy. Then I realized she was actually making headway into destroying it! Est-ce possible?? Oui. Which Fernando wouldn't like, so I had to remove it.

Then I bought those fake bacon treats, which she could down in 1 minute.

This week I got thin doggie chew sticks (meat, not bone) about the same thickness as the twig chair (about the size of a finger.) She had a good long gnaw on it tonight, and it's half destroyed, so I think we may have found something at last. Phew

 

Haley's opinion of my lists of actions verbs.

"I'm the only action verb you need, lil mama."

More pictures that will tempt Swiss Girl to steal my cat. Let's hope there's no internet on her boat!

OFFLINE FRIENDS:

Went out with rrraquel at last, tonight. We canceled yesterday cause the weather sucked. It's nice to be able to cancel plans with a friend simply because you're both too wimpy to go out in bad weather.

FRENCH:

Started my verb exercise book. Very handy--recovering the basics, that's what I needed. And I'm reading my Châtelaine cover to cover, highlighting words or expressions I don't understand.

VEGAN:

Bought 4 packs of Daiya fake cheese that was at expiry date and so $1. Had nachos twice. Once ordered pizza and smothered in the cheese--this package was starting to mold, though I'd kept in the freezer. Just one spot, the rest was perfect. But I discovered that... three packages worth of Daiya cheese in one week... you can actually get sick of it. And I still have one left to go. Well, if I don't eat it, it was only a buck.

Okies back to what I was doing...

The Great Blog CatchUp (or sucking on lemons)

It's been a busy week at Casa Kitty. Apparently when you haven't lived with your husband for three weeks, you need to adjust to each other again. So I'm almost totally behind on my blog reading... it's 3:30 AM early Sunday morning... gonna put on some new music and attempt The Great Blog Catchup.

Fernando was just in the room. I just told him he's beautiful. He told me to go suck on a lemon. There's something particularly charming about having a grade three insult aimed at you.

Okay... off I go...

LISTENING TO:

hubby tracking update

It's 6:50 PM - still no sign of him. His plan landed at 5 PM.

lol

When you're married to Fernando Ferblantier, you don't worry when your husband goes AWOL. You just assume he's either:

(a) wandering the airport shopping

(b) has run into an immigrant who needs help with something and is showing them around Montreal

(c) met someone interesting on the plane and went to have dinner with them and talk for hours

(d) curled up in exhaustion on his bags and went to sleep.

Or all of the above.

Well, I had time to do groceries--they had Daiya cheese with today due date, for $1 per bag! I scooped up all four, put 3 in the freezer, kept one for supper. Nachos! But I'd better find something to eat in the meantime. Though I'm de-hair-greased, leg-shaved, perfumed, and festively dressed, none of it will matter when Fernando makes an appearance if I'm a total bitch.

I also bought flowers. He loves to receive flowers. (Okay Minion, leave some for Daddy, yes?)

 

Fernando arrived as I was writing this. Minion thought it was a visitor and ran away! And then, as he was coming in, the neighbor's smoke alarm went off so Haley ran and hid too! Some homecoming. We had to get out the Snappytoms so he could bond with his cats.

Tsk. Kids.

hubby tracking

Fernando is currently over Winnipeg. I still have time to put away the laundry and store up some provisions on the old homestead before he gets in.

He's been helping to care for three little peeples for three weeks--I suspect he's going to expect royal treatment for the rest of his time off (this week).

Haley knows he'll be back, cause she's seen us leave and return from vacations. Minion is confused, but she hasn't given up hope--she's an optimistic little kitty! She still raises her head optimistically when she hears bustling in the hallway. I look forward to seeing her excitement when The Bustle really does turn out to be Her Bustle.

Unfortunately I'll probably have to go help Fernando with his bags, and therefore won't get to witness it from this side of the door.  :-(  Should have made arrangements with him on the phone yesterday.

"Mahmmy's book says hope is a thing with feathers. ...I like feathers."

The Meowee East: Storms both Physical and Metaphorical (or Pathetic Fallacy by Haley teh Cat)

This video looks like a skit from The Muppet Show. I kept expecting to see people clinging horizontally to street lamps.


It's an exciting morning here in the Meowee East. It's 9 degrees Celcius (warm) and a thunder and lightning storm just passed through. I've got the balcony door open and wild winds are - a - blowin' through. Minion is acting like a FREAK. I wish you could see the look on Haley's face, but I only have my laptop for taking photos.

At first she was down here enjoying the storm, but then Minion went running up along her back...

 so she retreated to Wolverbean Towers.

Watching the rain and wind.

Rain and wind got up in her face so she LEAPED to her window.

"You're a freak and an idiot."

While Minion has to take the high spots from Haley all the time, in reality she only has one high spot she likes; otherwise she prefers the floor. This desk in the livingroom is her cave. Notice how she's hooked up her tunnel so that it leads into her cave.

She naps under the curtains, tucked under the heater. 

I suspect she discovered it one day when she fell off the heater, but she admits to nothing.

I've had to lock Minion in my bedroom, cause Haley wanted to come down and check out the wind. The window in my room lets out on a bird-filled tree. I tried telling Minion this, but she was all "No no no I wanna be with you!" [aka terrorize Haley.]

Perched on the Elizabeth Box, as regal as the Virgin Queen herself.

UPDATE ON THE COUSSIN DE POUVOIR (from yesterday)


Since moving it lower, Haley's been *allowed* to sit on it a lot more. But Minion is sensitive to her reputation cause right when I take a picture...
 

"You look entirely too comfortable on that coussin. OFF!" Takes coussin. Pretends to look like she's going to take a long nap.
  

Haley indifferent because though she's lost the coussin, she now has the high ground.

 

Minion soon realizes this is a losing proposition and leaves the coussin.

This week in friendlies: phone edition

I was supposed to go out with a friend tomorrow, but we had to change our plans. We ended up talking on the phone, though. We shall call her rrraquel.

And earlier today (as I made my breakfast... at 3 PM) my friend Gilby called. We haven't spoken since Christmas, so it was nice to catch up. 

I met both friends at my old job--we were all part of the new staff hired on to open up the store when it was new. It was a big format store, and so many great people were hired, we all walked around a little suspicious in the beginning. 

- [whisper] Do you find you like a really high % of people here?

- [whisper] Ya, it's really weird.

I had certain groups of friends with whom I'd go out to lunch, and certain groups I'd sit in the back doorway with while they had their smokes, and other groups with whom I'd go drinking next door after work (I drank ginger ale), and other groups with whom I went to Chenoy's and debated Life with 'til 3 AM, and other friends with whom I went to Chenoy's and talked about our own lives with 'til 3 AM.

That never really changed. The average age of people hired decreased, but in all the years I worked there, I not only made a ton of friends myself, but I saw generation after generation make their own gang of friends-for-life. I guess book stores attract interesting, quirky, intelligent, fun people. I'd recommend working at one, except it's a March of the Dinosaurs.

My friends rrraquel and Gilby were practically opposites, but sometimes the three of us would go to the dessert place next door (gone now) and loved being served by Raoul, who gave everyone a Spanish name, forgot our orders, and was very charming. He died a few years ago of throat cancer.  :-(  

Anyway, two important outcomes of these phone calls. Important to The Arts.

1. Gilby needs us to go ahead with Gilmabelfest 2011 even if he needs to shoulder more of the cost this year. I suggested he come to my city, stay with his folks, we see one show. He expressed disapproval of this plan in his Usual Gilby Fashion that I won't repeat. So I guess I'll be off to see him again in the fall, and to see some great shows. Time to start planning! Gilmabelfest 2011!

2. rrraquel told me Videotron picked up Turner Movie Classics channel at the beginning of April!!! I didn't know!!! There's always been a classics channel but it was poopy. Not the real one! TURNER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  She said it's to compete with Netflicks, which must explain the other great no-commercial movie channels I now have.

TURNER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

This weekend is Cat On a Hot Tin Roof, which me loves. And it's playing in French this weekend on Cinépop, which I was going to tape as well.

And on PBS this weekend starts the new Upstairs, Downstairs. It's a sequel, but I've never seen the original so I hope I understand.