don't boil the bunny

My American Friend read that I would be alone on Valentine's Day, so she called me and we had a good conversation about racial politics. I can't complain too much about my life when I have such fromantic (friend-romantic... I just made it up) and consciousness-raised friends. What more could a girl ask for? (And she was paying long distance too!)

The Husband called later. In his honour, here's a list I made yesterday.

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For Valentine's Day: 10 Songs That Remind Me of Fernando, in Chronological Order

(Couldn't bring it down to 5, not after 9 years of marriage, 14 years of relationship, and close on 20 years of friendship.)

Over My Head - Fleetwood Mac

This is how I felt when I was still in the crush stage. That nice, bippy feeling. There was no question of dating--I saw very little of him, and it tended to be in waves. In between the waves I'd hear almost nothing from him, and so I'd put him out of my mind and look around for someone else to have a crush on. From about age 15 til my early 20s, this was it.

"You can take me to Paradise
And then again you can be cold as ice
I'm over my head
But it sure feels nice"

*

Dinner With Gershwin - Donna Summer

This is the Intellectual's Love Song. So of course I identified.

"I wanna have dinner with Gershwin
I wanna watch Rembrandt sketch
I wanna talk theory with Curie
I wanna get next to you.

(OMG go watch the video it's so bad! I'd never seen it. Hilarious.)
*

Maybe Love Will Change Your Mind - Stevie Nicks

"I'm beside myself
Cause I don't know and you won't tell"

Stevie put out this awful album in the 90s (even she admits it, she was totally wasted) except for this one song. They played it on the radio the summer I realized I was in love with F., but it didn't look like it was going to Happen.

I almost never listen to this song because it perfectly recalls how desperately sad I was. If he hadn't come around I would have ended the friendship, cause it was too painful.

*

Night in My Veins - The Pretenders

Once he DID give in, the soundtrack took a sharp turn. It was a mixture of simple, innocent Christine McVie and Joan Armatrading love songs -- and this one... which was also on the radio that summer.

*

Guzophela - Zap Mama

There's a couple artists that remind me of F, because he likes them--Phil Collins, Enya. But Zap Mama is one of the bands we watched together at the Jazz Fest that summer when he finally came to his senses.

*

"You Were Always On My Mind" - The Pet Shop Boys (my favourite version--love the old codger in the video)

Yes that's me, the neglectful spouse. This song is horribly accurate in parts.

"If I made you feel second best
I'm so sorry I was blind
You were always on my mind"

*

Twelfth of Never - Dolly Parton & Keith Urban

I may be the Neglectful Spouse, but my feelings haven't once wavered! ;-)

"I'll love you til the poets run out of rhyme
Until the 12th of never, and that's a long long time"

*

Songbird - Fleetwood Mac

I find it depressing to think that you could at one point in your life feel so much love for someone, and then to one day just not feel that anymore. The thought of Fernando and I feeling that way towards each other is bone chilling. I think that's the underlying thought when I listen to this song.

That Christine McVie... good lyric writer. No syrup.

"To you--I'll give the world
To you--I'll never be cold
Cause I know that when I'm with you it's alright
I know it's right
And the songbirds keep singing like they know the score
And I love, I love you, I love you like never before"

*

Upside Down - Jack Johnson

When this Curious George song/video came out, it immediately made me think of Fernando. That's him all over--curious, trouble making, full of love. It's the closest I can come to expressing why he's the most special person I've ever known.

"I want to turn the whole thing upside down
I'll find the things they say just can't be found
I'll share this love I've found with everyone"

*

My Love is Your Love - Whitney Houston (written by Wyclef)

It took a years to come across a song that I felt expressed our relationship. Fernando and I aren't very melodramatic, which rules out about 98% of love songs. Leave it to Wyclef to come up with a song that puts strong emotion into a soufflé package. It's Melodrama done deadpan.


If tomorrow is Judgment Day and I'm standing on the front line
And the Lord asks me what I did with my life, I will say
I spent it with you

If I wake up in World War III, I see destruction and poverty
And I feel like I wanna go home
It's okay, if you're coming with me

If I lose my fame and fortune, and I'm homeless on the streets
And I'm sleeping in Grand Central Station
It's okay, if you're sleeping with me

As the years they pass us by, we stay young through each others' eyes
And no matter how old we get
It's okay, as long as I've got you babe

If I should die this very day
Don't cry cause on Earth we wasn't meant to stay
And no matter what the people say
I'll be waiting for you after the Judgment Day

Cause your love is my love
And my love is your love
It would take an eternity to break us
And the chains of Amistad couldn't hold us