Navel Gazing: The Books That Changed My Life - accidental finding

My Traitor's Heart - Rian Malan

A book that someone lent me, and that I finally read because I'd had the book too long and had to give it back. I'd never really asked for it, and I don't know why this guy at church liked it or thought I'd like it, but man... WHAT a book. Sometimes there are ideas in life that you're taught, but you don't really internalize them, or envision what they really mean. This is one of those books that took some *nice ideas* and showed how powerful they can really be. And at another level, it's just a great book at showing how Complicated Life Is to understand--that you can't take a country's history and politics, submit them to a little analysis, and set down a bunch of easy conclusions. History is FUBAR.

It's an autobiographical story of a guy who was supposed to write a history of South Africa, but found he couldn't do it without writing about his personal struggle as a Guilty White Liberal growing up in the 70s, and a crime reporter in the extremely repressive and violent 80s. This book just blew me away. Malan tells you a story and you believe one thing--then peels away another layer for you, shaking the thing you've just come to believe. And on and on he peels away the layers, until you feel as messed up and confused as he does.

And then at the end of the book he tells this Disney like story about a Nice White Couple who go off into a poor community and revive it... and then it all unravels, he's killed, and she loses everything. But after a long struggle she commits to staying out there anyway, because she decides that you can't just love people when they love you back. You have to love them, even if they hate you.

I would have to say that story definitely became foundational to my core values.

If you want rock versions of Prince songs

some groovy prince covers

I wrote this song while looking in the mirror.

Wow--happened upon this great video of Prince playing a medley of songs on acoustic guitar. It's great. This is what's supposed to happen you go on MTV "Unplugged" (unlike half the performances, which don't sound any different than any other live performance.)

click here

K'naan and Bob

I follow Kanye on Twitter because he posts a lot of links to his free music projects. Here's the newest:

The Messengers is a remix project done by DJ/Producer J.Period and T.O./Somali MC K'NAAN, and it matches K with three of music's most celebrated "Messengers": Fela Kuti, Bob Marley, and Bob Dylan.

It's 5 AM, I gotta get back to bed, so I haven't listened to much so far. But first take... issa gonna be great. Especially "Don't Think Twice," which is my fave Dylan song.

Anyway, the songs are all free if you want to try them out.

Judging by his tweets, looks like he's come to the attention of Jay Z and Timbaland (he already does stuff with Nas, and Kardinal Offishall and others.) I hope he only gets bigger. I'm not like those people who don't want to share their fave artists with the world... this guy is seriously talented. Must be shared!

Dix ans plus tard...

Sometimes I write myself letters, that I can't open for years. I just found one today that was meant for 2009. Yay! It was actually meant for January. And judging by the first line of it, I opened the last one late too.

What was going on in 1999...

* We often tease my dad for talking about religion, and apparently on his 50th birthday we threw him an (in-family) religious themed party. I don't even remember! Stepmommy made a cross-shaped cake, we had cross-pictured plates, and balloons with Bible figures on them.... Oh wait... I do vaguely remember buying the religious posters and banners. My anti-religious husband apparently loved the banners.

* Fernando was working the night shift.

* Lord Sherringham's current names were: Sherry, Sherry Beans, Beanie, Kakebeenwa , Beanie Baby.
Lord Tigernan's: Tiger, Nombly, Nomms, Nombalogne, Pooks, Pook-de-Ville, and (this one only by Fernando) Shithead.

* Tigernan had a heart murmur, was breathing funny, and just had a urinary tract infection. Sherry still sometimes had blood in his stool (that's gone), acne, dirty ears (he must clean them now, because that got better this year), and hairballs. He was also sporting a Fernando Haircut.

* Hm this was soon after we were married--had just bought the queen mattress.

* Fernando interests: bikes, camping, guns, go-carts, wilderness survival, preparing for Y2K, buying bed sheets, golf, bow-hunting, and primitive living. (Don't know what that means!)

* His dislikes: Yeti (a stuffed sasquatch I ran around with at the time), Religionspeak, Marx Brothers movies, movies that inspire copycat crimes, pickled stuff.

* I was wearing my turquoise Turkish dress, a Darth Vader watch, no earrings, dyed blonde hair with bangs, longish and layered and tied back. (I don't have the dress anymore, nor the watch, now bleach my hair, same cut apparently, but impossible to ever tie back cause I'd get a headache in one minute.)

* I had recently inherited the money from my grandfather which I later used for university.

* I was researching the Marx Brothers, writing a Harlequin (not sure which book that means!).

* I was thinking about going back to university, had just been made zone manager at work, and had apparently turned down the chance to take online Ryerson courses through work (but I must have changed my mind, cause I took 3.)

* Ahhhh Fuentes!!! Aaaahahahahaaa! Apparently my latest Crispy story was that he admired Larry Stevenson for being so honest. Must have been just after Stevenson came to the story to have a one-on-one talk with him?

* I was still attending church, but must have been near the end. Ah yes--I was up for renewal on the board, and didn't get it. I stopped soon after. (I wasn't bitter, just felt I had reached the end of my usefulness to others, and to myself.) Id been attending for 10 years. (I still believe in God but never joined another church.)

* My dad was still making his plane (that went on for these 10 years!) Step-mommy now had birds (awww but that first one is gone now.) Pablo worked nights at the radio station; Muthah had laser eye surgery and decorating her house.

* My grandfather died a month before.

* My dad's fave topic at the time was suffering. (Yes, that's my dad.)

* I was into the Star Wars Joseph Campbell hero journey thing. (Something I'm still all about, though the details of my spiritual beliefs have changed a lot from this letter.)

* While writing I was listening to Steve Bell's "This is Love", and the last book that had really moved me was Connie Willis' Doomsday Book.

Hm! Innnteresting. Well, I'll have to write a new letter for the next ten years. I should make some predictions this time, it would be more entertaining.

What do we do with Nombly's stocking this year?

I was going to write about how I hate Fall, then realized I wrote the same thing almost exactly a year ago

'Everyone's so happy about Fall being here, but I'm not enjoying it. I don't want shorter days. I don't care about the Crisp Air and Crispy Leaves. I usually at least enjoy that it's the one season you can wear almost 100% of your wardrobe, but when you're working in dress code this means nothing. "Will I wear my black slacks or my black slacks? Woo!" This Fall thing is overrated.' (Oct 9, 2008)