David Duchovny locks himself in the closet.
Dave Chappelle: "Who would wanna be Aquaman?
Of course my fave ever was Mitch Hedberg: "If you are flammable and have legs you are never blocking a fire exit." "Yeah but what happened to the Dufresnes? Nobody seems to care!"
http://www.spikedhumor.com/articles/29876/Mitch-Hedberg-on-Dr-Katz-Video.html
Where would I be without you?
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