more from the shitmydadsays twitter

1. “You touched that god damned biscuit. Bullshit, I saw you touch it….I don’t give a shit about your evidence, this isn’t a court of law."5:01 PM Sep 3rd from web
2. "It's just a fucking june bug, calm down. Jesus Christ, what happens when something bigger than a testicle attacks you?"4:12 PM Sep 2nd from web
3. "What are you listening to?...I know who Hall & Oates are god dammit. It's the mustache guy and the gay man."2:16 PM Sep 1st from web
4. "I just did an hour on the gym machine. I'm sweaty and I have to shit. Where's my fannypack, this workout is over."1:36 PM Aug 31st from web
5. to my bro-"Your baby dropped his binky. The binky is on the table. THE BINKY IS ON THE TABLE. BINKY ON TABLE. PICK.UP.THE.BINKY. Thank you."12:39 AM Aug 31st from web