The Story of Me: In Aunts

I was born in Edmonton, but I wasn't there long. We moved to Winnipeg, moved back to Ed a couple years, and then we were gone for good.

Both my parents were born in Edmonton, so that's where the bulk of my genetic-relatives live, though I rarely see them. Having moved away from relatives at such a young age, I don't have a very strong sense of extended family. I saw my step-mother's family more often growing up (grade 6 onward), but they're French so the language difference always created a little bit of a barrier. They all live in the Townships, so without a car I don't see them often either.

I understand why some people create their own communities around them--I'm certainly closer to my friends than to my extended family. But... with all that said... my genetic families are pretty weird people, and I can't deny being related to them since I've inherited the weirdness. (Understand that weird is a compliment in my books.)

My dad has three sisters and they've all led interesting lives. I'm not very good at the details, but they go something like this...

Eldest Child

I'll call her Lipstick, since she once wrote PIG in lipstick across my dad's stuffed dog. (Every time my dad tells this story she just giggles unapologetically.) She had a teen pregnancy (who was adoped out, but it's happy endings all around because Lipstick and her biological daughter are now friends) and then she had a boy and twin daughters. There's a lot of sad history in here which I won't relate, but my aunt's a survivor and ...plucky.

Here is my deceased grandfather, my still-kicking-it-old-school
grandmother, and their children. The one in the middle,
looking so Sweet and Petite is Aunt Lipstick.
Don't let appearances fool you. She's very street.

I can't speak for what sort of mother she was, but all the same time she's a sort of Patron Saint of Children. I've never heard her speak of her children without FIERCE PROTECTIVE love. Probably the sort of love that drives you up the wall, but can't possibly leave you in doubt to its genuineness. A complete mother bear. I have 3 defining memories of her (and no, Pablo, they don't involve a spoon):

1. When I was 11 I had a sort of contre-temps with my grandmother (my dad's mother.) I didn't speak to her for a year after, and though my mother supported me through it, I never felt like my dad was on my side about it. (To this day I can't figure out where his head was during this... my father's a bit of a sphinx sometimes.) When I was about 14 I was in Edmonton for my grandmother's wedding, and stayed with Aunt Lipstick, and that's when I found out that she'd heard of this whole thing with my grandmother. And had been furious, because apparently the way my grandmother spoke to me, she'd done to her daughters as well. And Most Excellent Aunt Lipstick called her mother up and gave her a talking to.

Can I describe how wonderful this made me feel? To find out that someone from my dad's side of the family had understood and stood up for me? I probably didn't fully forgive my grandmother until I found this out. God bless my Aunt Lipstick--the Patron Saint of Children came through for me.

2. The father of Lipstick's children was a womanizing sort of charmer, who had an affair and left Lipstick for the Affairee. They lived together for years until he got Lou Gherig's (I think) and she dumped him. And guess who helped to care for him? Yes, my aunt. But when he was incapacitated, sitting in that wheelchair and unable to escape her wrath, she finally let him have it. Not even for shit he'd done for her (if I remember this story right) but for shit that had affected her children. That's the Patron Saint again. I was very proud when I heard this story.

3. The last time I saw Aunt Lipstick she was visiting my parents out here in Quebec, and the only conversation I can remember having with her was about her grandchildren. The grandkids have gone through their own share of Parental Troubles, and Aunt Lipstick stands up for them too. The world has got to be a better place because women like this are in it.

So while I'm not very attentive to my Edmonton Family, I'll always love them, in my own Distant Way.