I vaguely remember that when I was a child I wanted to be A Star. I don't think it was anything specific (actor, singer, danser), just someone glamorous. I used to dance around the living room (and apparently in hotel restaurants as well), and I sang to myself, and the only games I liked to play involved the imagination. I either played dress-ups, or Barbies (which is basically second-hand dress-ups), or I drew fashions, or made my own paper dolls, etc. The story-writing started around grade 2 or 3 (the epic Cora time traveling series).
I took the occasional dance class, drama class, pottery class, but to be good at such things you basically need to be consistently enrolled in them by your folks. I clearly wasn't passionate enough about any of them to beg for lessons. But writing is something that can develop on its own, and being a child who can amuse herself on her own, that's the direction things went. Plus, it's really yet another extension of dress-ups and Barbies, only now the actors are on the page.
The Inner Singer never went away, of course, since she also requires little to keep her amused. These days she's satisfied by singing along to the ipod while cooking, though she misses the heady days of car ownership.
The Acting Child did a couple years of drama in high school, enough to know it's not her natural medium, but she had the satisfaction of getting the highest grade in her class in her graduating year. These days she comes out once or twice a year when Billiam makes staff videos for work meetings.
The Writing Child, of course, has been on a rampage since Cora, though she resents the time stolen from her for Acquiring Degrees (the Left Brain strikes back.)
But Dancing Child... tsk tsk tsk. The last time she really came out was in the parental basement in the early 1990s. Since leaving home, there have been a few concerts here and there, but mostly she only expresses herself in spurts--dancing a cat down the hallway, bouncing under the influence of Kanye West when waiting or the light to change, shimmying from the fridge to the pantry while cooking.
Watching So You Think You Can Dance this year, for the first time, is causing her to protest a bit. There's been a little more kicking-up-of-the-heels and seeking out La La La Human Steps on youtube.
I like to say that my 30s is about trying out things I'd previously dismissed, but maybe that was only the first half. Maybe the second half will be about bringing back my I.C. Maybe I'd better pick up a book on drawing fashion. ...How I'm supposed to find time to indulge the Old Me, and the Trying New Things Me, while maintaining Everyday Me, I've no idea.
Here is Darci the Fashion Model doll, who I believe represents my inner child. I gave my own Darci away ages ago, and Stepmommy had to get me one through eBay.
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Here's the first exposure I ever had to La La La Human Steps.
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