Months ago the vet gave me a dog chewie thing to see if Minion would like it. She didn't like it that much so I stuck it in the bread cupboard and rarely took it out. But one day she followed her nose, found it, and took it out. (It's a higher cupboard, like over the stove, only it's over a counter.) I put it back. When she was bored, she took it out again.
Today she took it out. Then it occurred to her... didn't she see some nice bread in that same cupboard? Why was she passing the bread up every time she went for the boring dog chew?
We've used this cupboard for years without even our most bread-loving cat (Sherry) finding it. And then today...
Fernando: Menowz! You left my bagels out and Minion's eaten them!
Me: I didn't leave them out! She must have climbed in the cupboard, the little minx!
Fernando: Oh my love!
Me: Hey I didn't do anything!
Fernando: I didn't accuse you, I just expressed dismay at my eaten bagels.
For some reason I didn't think she'd dare this a second time. I thought maybe she'd been especially tempted by the cinnamon raisin bagels. After all, the damn bread's been in there all this time. (Well not the same loaf.)
Then I was sitting here and I hear...
Squeka squeka squeka...
I knew it wasn't the lower cupboard squeaking. I tied them up ever since Minion's chewing-thing-stuck-in-intestines incident.
I looked at Haley, who could see into the kitchen. She was watching something with mild interest.
I went to the kitchen.
The bread cupboard door was mostly closed, but moving slightly.
Squeka squeka squeka...
I opened the cupboard and there was Minion the Menace, settling in comfortable, using her patented bag opening technique on the bread: multiple tooth punctures 1 inch X 2 inch zone.
I tossed her out and duct taped the door. Wrote "child safety locks" on the grocery list.
Me: Our genius child has been in the bread again.
Fernando: Are you feeding her enough?
Me: Menowz!
Fernando: It was a serious question! Maybe she's hungry!
Me: She ate your bagels thirty minutes ago!
Fernando: ...It was a snack.
Me: [to Haley] You couldn't warn me?
Haley: I'm a lot of things Mahmmy, but I'm no stool pidgeon.
(Did I mention she can open a brand new bag of chips in under a minute? If you're eating chips she won't try to steal one out of your hand, she'll try to make an opening at the bottom of the bag.)
Saturday, April 23, 2011
This week in French - done reading!
Un petit pas pour l'homme by Stéphane DompierreMy rating: 4 of 5 stars
Ceci était mon deuxième livre de Dompierre et il est maintenant un de mes auteurs préférés. Style High Fidelity en français, avec le magasin de disques et le mec qui veut pas se transformer enfin en adulte; mais c'est plus drôle, le héros est plus sympa, et ça contient une bonne scène de sexe. J'ai aussi adoré son livre Morlante, que j'ai l'intention de relire. Vraiment mon sens d'humour.
This was my second Dompierre book, and he's one of my faves now. Sort of the French "version" of High Fidelity--the record store, the guy reluctant to grow up--but it's funnier, the hero is more sympathetic, and there's a good sex scene. I also loved his book Morlante, which I plan to re-read. Really my sense of humor.
* Took me this long to read, though, cause I made myself look up EVERY word I had even the slightest doubt about. 99% of the time I could understand everything from context, but I still made myself look (or put a pencil note, to look later, which I did.) There was one paragraph where I had about 7 pencil notes, yet I understood the whole damn paragraph!
View all my reviews
Friday, April 22, 2011
Dear dear
Inspired by this site, the Betties wrote a bunch of Dear ___ letters recently. Here's a handful of them, but they were all funnee.
Thursday, April 21, 2011
Minion in Motion!
A friend sent this cause it's how he imagines life around my house. Yes it is!! Minion looks just like this kitty! And that's her favorite toy! Except now she's bigger... and never misses. ;-)
Minion chewing on her Bullwinkle stick
This is a doggy chew treat.
Naturally she likes these more expensive sticks better than the cheap ones from the dollar store, which she just bats around like toys.
Naturally she likes these more expensive sticks better than the cheap ones from the dollar store, which she just bats around like toys.
Wednesday, April 20, 2011
My drug can take the world's troubles on its shoulders
What happened today...
Some background info.
1. This past winter my husband and I came to a bit of a crisis point in our marriage. No new issues, just a higher need to finally resolve old ones. And before you express sympathy for me, I've been more of the guilty party. :-( I actually made myself a star chart to form some new better marriage habits. (Not stars, though. Stickers of kitties and dogs.) (You won't believe how motivated I am by stickers.) Anyway, we got through the worst of it, and we intend to go to counseling later, so all is well.
But the salient info is that almost every time we fought I ended up crying. And to the point that I felt like I was having a nervous breakdown. And one day in February, outside of a comic book store on a busy street, set off by something truly meaningless, I started crying uncontrollably and couldn't stop. This has never happened to me before. It was intellectually interesting. But it also turned out to be the turning point. A week later, after a speech by my husband, and a day of philosophizing while riding around on the bus, I pulled myself out of my general breakdown. But I do still cry easily.
2. I got a cold in February, which landed in my lungs. Once the cold cleared up, my lungs remained inflamed and I've had a cough ever since. Two weeks ago my GP gave me a pump, and it's pretty much gone now.
3. I've had chronic headaches since I was 20 (I'm 37). For a couple years I've been seeing a specialist. I take a daily medication (Elavil) that's helped a lot, and I have good drugs for getting rid of headaches when they come. In January I started a second daily med to prevent headaches. I reached the full dosage my doc was starting me at in February.
Today's Story
Today I went to see my headache doctor and we talked about the Topamax. I'd read about the side effects when I first went on it, but I don't tend to remember everything. And I'm not a worrier, so I don't look for side effects. When I started getting a lot of pins and needles, I remembered it was a side effect. When I was sick and found myself getting hot too easily, I realized I was sweating less and remembered it was a side effect. One day in February I had a Coke that tasted flat even though it wasn't flat, and hours later I remember it was a side effect (isn't that totally weird?)
But I forgot that one possible side effect is sluggish thinking, for example. Probably because I wouldn't want to remember that. I remembered today when she asked me about it. I told her that when I learn new French words, they seem to stick, so no, I don't think it's been a problem.
Then she asked me, how are my moods? I didn't know what she meant. She asked if I was feeling angry, or aggressive? No. Was I crying more?
... !!
Yeeees. I told her about my marriage problems.
She asked if the crying was uncontrollable.
!!!!
I told I thought I'd been having a nervous breakdown!
She kept asking more questions, I assume until she was comfortable I wasn't going into a depression, before upping my Topamax dose. And she said if the side effects get too bad, then to just cut my dose back again.
Just now I went back to re-read the side effects. I can see why the moods thing didn't stick with me, cause it's very broad. It doesn't say "uncontrollable crying" -- that might be something she's run into in her practice, or in journals etc.
BUT. It does say: upper respiratory tract infections.
So the thing is... I'm now going to blame everything in my life on Topamax. Got a cold? It's the Topamax. Marriage problems? Topamax. Cats fighting? Must be the Topamax. Not in the mood to do any chores? Obviously it's the Topamax.
Feel free to blame your problems on my drug too. My drug is big enough to handle it.
Some background info.
1. This past winter my husband and I came to a bit of a crisis point in our marriage. No new issues, just a higher need to finally resolve old ones. And before you express sympathy for me, I've been more of the guilty party. :-( I actually made myself a star chart to form some new better marriage habits. (Not stars, though. Stickers of kitties and dogs.) (You won't believe how motivated I am by stickers.) Anyway, we got through the worst of it, and we intend to go to counseling later, so all is well.
But the salient info is that almost every time we fought I ended up crying. And to the point that I felt like I was having a nervous breakdown. And one day in February, outside of a comic book store on a busy street, set off by something truly meaningless, I started crying uncontrollably and couldn't stop. This has never happened to me before. It was intellectually interesting. But it also turned out to be the turning point. A week later, after a speech by my husband, and a day of philosophizing while riding around on the bus, I pulled myself out of my general breakdown. But I do still cry easily.
2. I got a cold in February, which landed in my lungs. Once the cold cleared up, my lungs remained inflamed and I've had a cough ever since. Two weeks ago my GP gave me a pump, and it's pretty much gone now.
3. I've had chronic headaches since I was 20 (I'm 37). For a couple years I've been seeing a specialist. I take a daily medication (Elavil) that's helped a lot, and I have good drugs for getting rid of headaches when they come. In January I started a second daily med to prevent headaches. I reached the full dosage my doc was starting me at in February.
Today's Story
Today I went to see my headache doctor and we talked about the Topamax. I'd read about the side effects when I first went on it, but I don't tend to remember everything. And I'm not a worrier, so I don't look for side effects. When I started getting a lot of pins and needles, I remembered it was a side effect. When I was sick and found myself getting hot too easily, I realized I was sweating less and remembered it was a side effect. One day in February I had a Coke that tasted flat even though it wasn't flat, and hours later I remember it was a side effect (isn't that totally weird?)
But I forgot that one possible side effect is sluggish thinking, for example. Probably because I wouldn't want to remember that. I remembered today when she asked me about it. I told her that when I learn new French words, they seem to stick, so no, I don't think it's been a problem.
Then she asked me, how are my moods? I didn't know what she meant. She asked if I was feeling angry, or aggressive? No. Was I crying more?
... !!
Yeeees. I told her about my marriage problems.
She asked if the crying was uncontrollable.
!!!!
I told I thought I'd been having a nervous breakdown!
She kept asking more questions, I assume until she was comfortable I wasn't going into a depression, before upping my Topamax dose. And she said if the side effects get too bad, then to just cut my dose back again.
Just now I went back to re-read the side effects. I can see why the moods thing didn't stick with me, cause it's very broad. It doesn't say "uncontrollable crying" -- that might be something she's run into in her practice, or in journals etc.
BUT. It does say: upper respiratory tract infections.
So the thing is... I'm now going to blame everything in my life on Topamax. Got a cold? It's the Topamax. Marriage problems? Topamax. Cats fighting? Must be the Topamax. Not in the mood to do any chores? Obviously it's the Topamax.
Feel free to blame your problems on my drug too. My drug is big enough to handle it.
Monday, April 18, 2011
This week in...
CATS:
When Minion wants to suck my finger she has a very particular meow. A sort of rolling rrrowr?
Just now she was up in her tower, and as she climbed down she actually gave me an Advanced Warning Rrorwr. All the way down and then across the living room: Stop typing mahmmy I'm coming in for the finger.
Um kitteh, I'm trying to edit a student's paper yes?
No, mahmmy. Mebbe one handed.
In other news, Haley is super happy to have Fernando back. When I go away it's a month of sulk city. Not him! She's been gooshing like a gooshy thing. Cuddles galore. It's disgusting.
In Minion-chews-up-the-planet-news: Did I tell you I thought I'd found the perfect chew toy? A twig stool made by Fernando's foster father. Minion loved gnawing on it, and it won't break into swallowable pieces so I was happy. Then I realized she was actually making headway into destroying it! Est-ce possible?? Oui. Which Fernando wouldn't like, so I had to remove it.
Then I bought those fake bacon treats, which she could down in 1 minute.
This week I got thin doggie chew sticks (meat, not bone) about the same thickness as the twig chair (about the size of a finger.) She had a good long gnaw on it tonight, and it's half destroyed, so I think we may have found something at last. Phew
OFFLINE FRIENDS:
Went out with rrraquel at last, tonight. We canceled yesterday cause the weather sucked. It's nice to be able to cancel plans with a friend simply because you're both too wimpy to go out in bad weather.
FRENCH:
Started my verb exercise book. Very handy--recovering the basics, that's what I needed. And I'm reading my Châtelaine cover to cover, highlighting words or expressions I don't understand.
VEGAN:
Bought 4 packs of Daiya fake cheese that was at expiry date and so $1. Had nachos twice. Once ordered pizza and smothered in the cheese--this package was starting to mold, though I'd kept in the freezer. Just one spot, the rest was perfect. But I discovered that... three packages worth of Daiya cheese in one week... you can actually get sick of it. And I still have one left to go. Well, if I don't eat it, it was only a buck.
Okies back to what I was doing...
When Minion wants to suck my finger she has a very particular meow. A sort of rolling rrrowr?
Just now she was up in her tower, and as she climbed down she actually gave me an Advanced Warning Rrorwr. All the way down and then across the living room: Stop typing mahmmy I'm coming in for the finger.
Um kitteh, I'm trying to edit a student's paper yes?
No, mahmmy. Mebbe one handed.
In other news, Haley is super happy to have Fernando back. When I go away it's a month of sulk city. Not him! She's been gooshing like a gooshy thing. Cuddles galore. It's disgusting.
In Minion-chews-up-the-planet-news: Did I tell you I thought I'd found the perfect chew toy? A twig stool made by Fernando's foster father. Minion loved gnawing on it, and it won't break into swallowable pieces so I was happy. Then I realized she was actually making headway into destroying it! Est-ce possible?? Oui. Which Fernando wouldn't like, so I had to remove it.
Then I bought those fake bacon treats, which she could down in 1 minute.
This week I got thin doggie chew sticks (meat, not bone) about the same thickness as the twig chair (about the size of a finger.) She had a good long gnaw on it tonight, and it's half destroyed, so I think we may have found something at last. Phew
Haley's opinion of my lists of actions verbs.
"I'm the only action verb you need, lil mama."
More pictures that will tempt Swiss Girl to steal my cat. Let's hope there's no internet on her boat!
OFFLINE FRIENDS:
Went out with rrraquel at last, tonight. We canceled yesterday cause the weather sucked. It's nice to be able to cancel plans with a friend simply because you're both too wimpy to go out in bad weather.
FRENCH:
Started my verb exercise book. Very handy--recovering the basics, that's what I needed. And I'm reading my Châtelaine cover to cover, highlighting words or expressions I don't understand.
VEGAN:
Bought 4 packs of Daiya fake cheese that was at expiry date and so $1. Had nachos twice. Once ordered pizza and smothered in the cheese--this package was starting to mold, though I'd kept in the freezer. Just one spot, the rest was perfect. But I discovered that... three packages worth of Daiya cheese in one week... you can actually get sick of it. And I still have one left to go. Well, if I don't eat it, it was only a buck.
Okies back to what I was doing...
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Where would I be without you?
Please stop spooging on me. It’s gross.
Sincerely,
The Car
I gave him the milk for free and he bought me anyway. You were totally wrong.
Love,
The Cow
Dear Tiny Parrot,
Seriously?!?! That was half your body weight!
Sincerely,
The Pooped-On Carpet
Dear Cat,
Yes, I love you, too. Now get off my keyboard.
Sincerely,
The Laptop
I love you, but I need more space. It’s not you, it’s me. I need to breathe. Just a short break, maybe 15 minutes or so.
Love
Couch
It’s rained for four days straight– you know what that means!!! Worm buffet on me! All you can eat:).
Sincerely,
The Driveway
Stop ringing every time I have to pee. I’ve got needs, too.
Full Bladder
You’re really making it hard for me to be successful at my job.
Sincerely,
Alarm Clock
HA!
SIncerely,
Lyle [the very sick dog who doesn't believe he's going to die]
Dear homework,
No, I will not spend all night doing you. I’m not that kind of girl.
Sincerely,
me
Please stop doing the pee pee dance, just as I sit down to dinner,
Love
Your mother