death!

I dreamt I died last night. I've dreamt of going over cliffs before, or being attacked, but I've never actually gotten to the death part. It was interesting. I'm sure it's because sometime that evening I read an article about how people interpret dreams, and did a little questionnaire on it. The questionnaire asked what you think dreams are--and I chose the option about dreams just being your brain sorting through a sensory mess of the day (something like that.)

And as though to prove it, here's a paragraph from the article:

These instinctive Freudians also considered dreams to be valuable omens, as demonstrated in a study asking them to imagine they were about to take a plane trip. If, on the eve of the flight, they dreamed of the plane’s crashing, they were more likely to cancel the trip than if they saw news of an actual plane crash on their route.

Well, I dreamed I died in a plane crash of course. I was dreaming about something else--a sort of American Idol with underwater aquatics, at which I was a spectator, and I was having a conversation with my friend's boyfriend about my motorbike [combination of story research, and an episode of Corner Gas I watched that night].

Then the dream shifted and I was sitting in the front row of an airplane, next to a guy I knew, but not well (don't know who it was.) The front of the airplane was wide windows--the view we would have if there wasn't a cockpit in the way. I was about to stand up and go to the bathroom when the seatbelt sign came on because of turbulence.

So I sat back down, and the pilot (??) came out of the cockpit to tell us not to worry, we were just going through some turbulence (duh.) Next thing I knew, we were flying low through the downtown of a city, almost at street level.

And I thought: Gee, must be some emergency landing. And then I thought: Gosh, there's no way this is going to end with us alive. This is it. This is how I die. (And someone behind me was saying "Oh my God" over and over.)

We were heading right towards a big bank-like building, at street level. There wasn't really time to be scared. I grabbed the hands of the guy next to me, cause it seemed like the proper etiquette in such a situation [must have read that in the Chesley crash articles]. I thought briefly about Fernando and my family, and how I was about to become one of Those People in News Stories.

The nose of the plane was reaching the doors of the building, and I closed my eyes, and waited for what I expected to be a very painful, but probably quick death. I was waiting for the feeling of smashing into stuff, and then fire.

And I was just starting to feel warm, when my body slowly awoke--I assume because my brain was incapable of imagining that sort of pain. I didn't awake with a start like they do on TV. I just felt this prickly wash of adrenaline taking over the from the feeling of heat, moving from my feet to my head. And then I was just lay there, thinking about the dream.

...If that was my body's way of telling me to wake up cause my bladder was full... it was pretty darn dramatic!

Oh baby I'm so sorry!

So... I've said before (one some blog of mine or another) that I'm tired of hearing Oprah on the subject of weight loss--I think she's got too much of an eating disorder to be telling other people what to do.

But I still have a lot of respect for her, and I love it when she does a show on something I think is important, because of the influence she has. For example, she's done some shows on puppy mills. Of course, I didn't watch them (I couldn't have), but I'm so glad she did them; and her latest dog is from a shelter, whereas her previous ones probably weren't.

These days she's doing lots of shows about saving money, cooking more meals, etc.

Tomorrow she's going to talk about the Chris Brown - Rihanna abuse story (see below for short summary of the charges). She's calling it a "teachable moment", and I agree that it is. Rihanna is one of the most popular entertainers right now, so you know there are some abused chicks out there who are fans of her, and are keeping an eye on this story. But apparently she and Brown are back together--which is not necessarily the wrong thing... but I would love it if they got some help, and went public with that. It's not their responsibility to do so, but it would be a cool thing. Especially since some Chris Brown fans have been blaming Rihanna, or people are saying Well she hit him too, or whatever. What-ev-ah.

I get the impression Oprah feels the same way, and that's why she's doing the show. I'm glad someone popular is taking this story and using it to talk about abuse.

*
From: Chicago Tribune

According to a detective's affidavit, Brown and Rihanna got into a fight early Feb. 8 after the "Umbrella" singer checked her boyfriend's cell phone and found a text message from another woman.

Brown pulled his car over and tried to push Rihanna out, but she was still wearing her seatbelt, Los Angeles police Detective De Shon Andrews wrote. He said Brown pushed Rihanna's head against the window, punched her with his right hand, and then continued driving while hitting her, the affidavit states. He also bit his girlfriend on the ear, the affidavit states.

The affidavit was filed as part of a search warrant request for the phone records of Brown, Rihanna and her assistant.

Brown allegedly threatened to kill Rihanna after she pretended to leave a phone message with her assistant, telling her to have the police waiting at her house.

Andrews described Brown's blows as causing Rihanna's mouth to fill with blood. He also writes that Brown tried to choke Rihanna after she took the keys to his car away. Andrews wrote that Rihanna nearly lost consciousness but also tried to fight back while in the car, at one point trying to gouge at Brown's eyes.

Story of Me: In Goals

I jut noticed that on March 30th last year I talked a couple mild goals I had, or things I'm doing that I didn't too much before. Let's see how I'm doin'...

Playing board games: I did borrow some from a friend who, with her boyfriend, reviews board games for the newspaper. But Fernando's been in a real Warcraft mood, so he's been resistant to any other form of amusement.

Cooking: I've managed to keep this up. Because I'm working more, I'm buying a little more processed food--things that take longer to make, or are harder to reproduce the flavor. But otherwise I seem to have integrated the cooking thing somewhat into my usual routines. So I don't see it as of much of a Big Deal.

Arabic: I haven't done anymore in the way of learning Arabic. It's a tough language, and I don't have any specific motivation, like a PhD or a trip. But I'll hold onto my books for awhile anyway.

Punctuality: I have cleaned up my act quite a bit. I've been getting out of the house on time in the "mornings," and I've learned to start putting my book away on the bus early enough to not be rushing off. Except when I get sucked in and don't notice it's my stop.

Sleep: My vow last year was to never get less than 5 hours (then eventually 7.) I haven't been able to keep it perfectly, but I've been much better. Just trying to avoid those 3 hour nights that I did so much when in school. It makes you so vulnerable to getting sick. So, I've definitely done a lot less of those 3 hour-ers. But when I work the occasional day shift, it still happens.

So I guess I have to set some new goals. I'll think about it... probably introduce some discipline into working on my books, since I'm working more. Gotta use the time Wisely.

And now, par rapport à nothing: lolcats

The Story of Me: In Jobs!

The New York Times posted a story about the difficulty of PhD students in Humanities finding jobs. So I'm not going to take it too personally if I can't get a job teaching Cegep. I'm up against anyone who's applying for those jobs, who already has a PhD--and there may be more of them, if they're not getting jobs at the University level. And with the economic situation, there may be a lot of teachers putting off retirement, so maybe we won't get that "retirement boom" we were expecting.

But... I'll always have my writing, which keeps me feeling like I'm doing something personally satisfying. And I haven't any post-school debt, which definitely makes life easier. And I still have the job I had when I went back to school, and I still enjoy it. So... so far so good.

There was a recent story in Publisher's Weekly about Borders and Waldenbooks laying off a bunch of workers, and that's all at the management level (in-store management, like myself.) But from all I've read in the Borders complaint discussion boards, it's a poorly run company that many employees already felt was on the verge of going out of business. I won't be surprised if they fold. A lot of the things my company did--increasing sales of non-book product, investing in newer technologies--were very foreward thinking. Plus they've paid off the interest on their loans, and only have the capitol to pay off. I'm Barnes and Noble is also in a relatively strong position.

It's coooomiiiiiing...

Sailing down the road on your bike, conversation drowned out by returning geese, throwing open the door and letting the sun and wind into your home, the return of the sound of rushing water (sounding like a 1000 old ladies!), it no longer taking five minutes to get on your "tons of clothes," and feeling so different that "in winter you must have been barely alive." Siberry perfectly describes how I feel each spring. The only thing missing in this song is the feeling of wearing lightweight shoes out on the street, in place of your heavy winter boots.

You have to live in a frigid, wintery clime to understand what it means for spring to return. We're not quite there yet, but on Sunday we got a little taste, with sunny skies and above 0 temps. And when I was serving people at cash, they were all cheerful, just like Jane Siberry sings: "People are like flowers: They blossom in the sun."

My family out west gets to laugh at me now that I'm the only one living in the extreme climate of Montreal, but I tell you... if happiness relates to an experience being relatively rare, not being a constant in your life... then I'll be a whole hell lot happier than them come April! Yippy!!

And so, in anticipation of that great event: Jane Sibery's "When Spring Comes." Posted by me, because someone had to do it. laaa laa la la la la la laaaa

En attendant le spring!

Like a cattle car in 1940s Germany

This comedian is sometimes funny, sometimes meh--but this is a funny shtick about modern technology. I especially agree with his comments re. airline travel.